Thursday, January 29, 2009

I can't do this anymore

I have a call into my Doctor’s office - she is out today but will call me back tomorrow. Either we’re starting clomid or I’m giving up... And honestly giving up sounds like the better option. I can’t do this anymore.

Two months... Its been two more long months and we aren’t any closer to having a baby. Two more months, a shit ton of pills, and nothing to show for it. No egg, no period, no pregnancy, just me sobbing in my living room asking why. I've tried to be positive - I've tried to distract myself, but really... whats the point?

I finished Provera on Monday and I still haven’t got AF. I know it can take a week blah blah blah..... But if the Metformin was doing anything to help at all then I think I’d have got it by now. Instead nothing - not a single cramp, not a single spot, nothing... So I doubt she is showing anytime soon.

I don’t know how much longer I can do this - I have no reason to expect clomid will work since nothing else has and I don’t know how much longer I can keep doing this.

I have never hated my body more than I do right now. I think its time to accept the truth of my situation.


Aramelle said...


I'm so sorry that you're feeling lousy right now. It is definitely hard to face the emotional ups and (especially) downs of IF. I wish there was some magical piece of something that I could say to help. I hope you know that you're not alone, though. If you need to talk, vent, whatever, I'm always here to "listen."

Sabrina Horton said...

I have no words of wisdom about this since Matt and I have no yet started the same journey. Make sure you are taking care of yourself through all of this!


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