Long time, no blog...

When I started this blog I thought for sure I’d keep up with it more than I had in the past... I had a goal, something to work toward, and a lot on my mind. When that didn’t happen I thought for sure when I got pregnant that would be it... Now I would really be able to keep up... Again, that hasn’t quite happened.

I suppose a lot of this has to do with the time of year - I just haven’t been online much in general and I haven’t had much desire to be. On days that morning sickness is at its worst, the last thing I want to do is stare at a computer screen... And with all the beautiful weather we’ve been having on the days morning sickness isn’t too bad, the last thing I want to do is be stuck inside and stare at a computer screen.

The good news is that we have got a lot done. For a while now we have wanted to start a real veggie garden with a raised bed.. We finally got around to that. Thanks to the help of my awesome mom we got the bed done yesterday. Steve and I filled it with dirt last night and bought our plants and in a few minutes here Caden and I will head outside to get things planted. Beyond that I still need to plant flowers in one of the beds out front and mulch the other two. I also want to plant some flowers in containers out back and I want to make another bed along the back of the house. In addition to cleaning out the pond and getting that going, I think these things will be our focus this weekend.

In addition to our yard, there is so much I want to get done around the house, too. We need to work on cleaning out and organizing the basement so that I can start moving and setting up my craft space down there. We need to start Caden’s “big boy” room, too. We’ve started collecting some things and hope to shop for the rest of the furniture and big items in a few weeks. I want to change the closet and interior door’s in the baby’s room (and the rest of the house, one down so far) and I still need to trim the door we have replaced. Then there is normal cleaning and upkeep around here....

Add into that my desire to at least catch up on Caden’s scrapbook and work on a few other crafts and well.... Makes for a very busy me.

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As for my pregnancy - so far things are going great! For the most part I feel pretty good - Morning sickness seems to come in waves and some days are definitely worse than others. Staying active and up and about seems to really help with how sick I feel. I threw up a few times a week or so ago but nothing since... Just lots of nausea but I’ve also been on the go just about constantly. Of course when I’m feeling good I’m worried that it means there is something wrong and then when the nausea hits again I wonder why I was crazy for wishing it back... Its a vicious cycle but well worth it. I seem to feel the worst around meals - Perhaps its the food or that I let myself get too hungry.. But so far I haven’t found a way around this one. I definitely have no complaints though - everything could be much worse and I am just feeling so blessed to be here.

Before I got pregnant I was a little worried about exhaustion but it isn’t nearly as bad as it was with Caden. With him I was early to bed, early to rise and now its just the opposite. I think dealing with the exhaustion of PCOS in addition to having a toddler keeping me on my toes has helped. I can usually force myself to stay up until 11:30 if I must, but have been going to bed around 10:30pm on average. This was unheard of with Caden but I think this is a change in lifestyle... Post bed time is mommy time and I’m not ready to give that up! Afternoon naps are pretty common but then there are days, such as yesterday, I skip those too. It all depends on what I have to do. Things are definitely different this time around... And I think that has more to do with being responsible for an adorable little man more than anything.

Other symptoms include the usual - my breasts aren’t tender but they never were with Caden either. However, they have increased in size. Pregnancy dreams are in full force and they are pretty crazy - and constant bathroom breaks are common. I don’t usually notice them unless we’re out or I’m trying to watch a movie or something, and in the middle of the night which gets annoying. A little bit of heartburn here and there and a lot of food aversions.. Fun mood swings and a bit more emotional..... And thats about it.

I wish I could say the anxiety has gone but I still worry.. A lot. It has improved greatly, but I still have yet to fully settle into things. I still don’t *feel* pregnant but then I never really did with Caden, either. I keep saying that after the next appt I’ll feel better, and it helps, but not completely. My next appt isn’t until June 9th - I’ll be 10 weeks and hopefully we’ll hear the heartbeat by Doppler. I can’t wait.

I have calmed down a lot from weeks prior at least... Ever since our ultrasound. I immediately update my various preg groups but am a bit ashamed I never posted here...

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Our first ultrasound was last week on May 12th. I started this entry with a photo of our beautiful little baby because that was what was most important, even though I saved the best for last. Steve took the day off work since the appt was at 10:30am. We dropped Caden off at my Mom’s and headed in. I was so nervous - excited, but so very nervous.

Linda (the sonographer) greeted us with a big smile and mentioned how happy she was to see my name for an OB ultrasound. We went into the room and got situated and then she turned the machine on. I immediately asked if there was a baby and she said to just hold on and turned the screen to me...
“there is the gestational sac....” to which my mind flashed to there only being a gestational sac and I blurted out “is there no heartbeat?!” Linda was clearly interrupted and simply asked “Now didn’t you see that little flicker?” A flicker? There was a flicker? I knew what a flicker meant and immediately all was right in my world. Steve squeezed my hand and Linda zoomed in... And there it was, clear as day.. Our beautiful little baby’s heart beating strongly at 122 bpm. With the exception of method for viewing, I could have sat there watching that little heart beating away all day.

The baby measured right on track. I had a large-ish cyst on my left ovary which is suspected to be a corpus luteum cyst and the source of our little one. Before all was done we got to check in on him/her one more time. S/he might only have been a little blob on a computer screen, but I could help but fall in love.

After the ultrasound we sat down with my doctor. She went over my labs and everything looked great except my 24 hour urine collection... It was within normal range but a little higher (low 200s) than what is she wanted to see. She said it might be worth re-checking after I have the baby (it is not currently a pregnancy issue) and it might warrant a further look into my kidney function, but she doesn’t think there is really anything to be done right now since it is still in normal range.

After the appointment Steve and I headed to Borders to buy a pregnancy journal (ended up with 2!) and then we stopped off to buy the baby a gift as we did after Caden’s first appointment. This time we bought him/her 2 cute little sleepers and we bought big brother Caden some jammies, too. We then had a nice lunch before picking up the little man. It was a perfect day and we now have our little one’s first picture proudly displayed - I can’t wait to see (and meet!) him/her again.

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I think this entry has ended up long enough... I suppose that is what happens when you don’t update for a while. I want to make it a point to write more often as this is probably the best way I have to chronicle all of this right now, but at the same time I’m enjoying time away from the computer with my favorite two guys.... So we’ll see... ;)For now I have some veggies to plant...

Ultrasounds - Baby #2

December 8, 2009
36 weeks, 2 days

3D - hand across face

hand playing with his little foot

Hair growing off the back of his head

Still a boy!

August 18, 2009

20 weeks, 2 days
hand - Middle of Screen
Head on left, body, spine on bottom

Hand in front of face

Feet

It's a boy!!!

And another shot to confirm...

3D profile, a little distored but still cute! love the adorabel hand

3D face - or smiling skeleton ;)

June 30, 2009
13 weeks, 2 days

May 12, 2009
6 weeks, 2 days

Firsts for the second time

From 571 to 1226, doubling time of 39.91 hours. Everything is fine.

I asked if I should be concerned about that 571 number and my doctor assured me that I did not have to be. She said that it could have simply been one slow day - since we hadn’t checked betas in 6 days, who knows what happened. She seems to think the beta that tripled was off. She explained how the labs were done and how an error could be made... That no test is 100% and based on my first beta the 571 number was perfect. She emphasized over and over that the one single beta doesn’t matter, there is nothing she has seen to suggest a miscarriage, and that even though that 571 beta was lower than what I was expecting.. It was still within normal range and everything is progressing nicely.

Thats not to say that something couldn’t still happen... It could. And I’m still very guarded over this pregnancy... But I’m going to focus on being happy. I’m going to focus on enjoying this pregnancy. Steve and I worked hard to get here and I need to believe that we will be holding out second child on our arms in 35 short weeks. I cannot focus on the bad “what ifs”, I will not focus on them. I am pregnant and so very happy to be.
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My first OB appointment was on Wednesday. It was so exciting and I had written all about it, but when I thought all this was being ripped away from me I deleted it and simply prayed for it all to be okay.

Sitting in the waiting room that morning, waiting for my name to be called, if only for those minutes the reality that I was finally pregnant began to set in. The woman at the front desk (my favorite in the office) greeted me with a huge smile and a congratulations when I first stepped up to check in. I love that three years later everyone in my doctor’s office is still there. Everyone is so sweet and after my last pregnancy, probably since I was there so much (weekly at 23 wks, twice a week at 33), I kind of missed them - not going to the doctor just felt weird.... Well, for all of a day.
I smiled when I saw my chart was blue (for obstetrics) again.... I sat in my char and browsed through the pregnancy magazines and articles instead of looking to the ground. I was just so very happy.

My name was called and the routine was still so familiar... Weight, sample, blood pressure. Every time I go to my Obgyn my blood pressure is always high... White coat effect or whatever. At home and at every other doctor it is always fine. But sitting in that chair, remembering all those bad numbers, the fear... My heart would start to race and my BP would shoot up. Not terribly high, but higher than normal. But that day? The racing heart was gone and my BP was a beautiful 108/70.

I sat down with the nurse in the exam room and went over history, medications, etc. She gave me a huge bag filled with goodies and information on tests, pregnancy in general, breastfeeding, etc. We briefly went over each item - some of it was the same as with Caden, some was new.

My doctor came in next, excited as well. We talked and she answered any questions I had. Discussed my previous complications and what it meant for this pregnancy. I was reacquainted with my good friends little brown jug and pee hat - I need to do a 24 hour urine collection in order to establish baseline. Hopefully it will be the only one I need to do this pregnancy.

I signed the release form for my VBAC.. I will say that document makes VBAC sound pretty scary even to someone who has researched it. My doctor agreed that the wording was pretty harsh but assuming that I have a normal, healthy pregnancy and we don’t face the problems we did with Caden... It will be fine. Obviously if something goes wrong and I need to deliver early they won’t induce like they did last time, but otherwise she said they will monitor me during labor and things will be fine.

After my appointment it was off to the hospital for labs.. Up to 9 vials for this pregnancy. The standard tests were run and then my OB also did an eclampsia panel just for baseline again and everything was normal.

Our next appointment is set for May 12th at 10:30am. Steve took the entire day off and we are so excited - praying to see our baby’s heartbeat.