Steps...

Caden took his first steps about a month ago (9.5 months) but now he is walking all the time!! He has walked up to 10-15ft at a time so far and he is attempting to walk more than crawl now. The only problem is with the hardwood floors – he slips a lot but he is still doing so well! Steve and I are so proud of our little pook :) I’ve started working on his first birthday invitations. They turned out really cute but I need to decide how to go about printing them. I can’t believe my little baby boy is going to be one pretty soon.

The first 2 videos are from this morning…

And this video is from Friday...

And a new picture of our little pup...


She is getting SO big! You can’t really tell from the pictures but she is :) I feel so bad leaving her – she loves me and I know she is going to have a hard time with that. And I’m going to miss her – she is going to be huge when we come home
She is doing well with potty training still – She had 1 accident in the house yesterday and none the day before. She hasn’t had any accidents in her crate since the first night and she stays in there almost all night! I usually don’t go to bed until 11:30/12 so I’ll take her our before I go to bed, then the last few nights she has been sleeping until Steve gets up for work and lets her out (5:45-6am). If she wakes up and barks between then we’ll take her out, but lately she hasn’t been.
Yesterday while I was out running errands for our trip (I got 3 pairs of new cute shoes :) ) I also bought Ellie her Christmas stocking and a few little toys to put in it.
Ellie also went on her first walk Friday night! She is still learning to walk on a leash and I think she is more just staying with me than walking on the leash, but we went to the end out our street and back. Saturday Morning I took her on another walk and then I tried to take her last night but she didn’t want to go.
Things are getting in line for out trip – I’m nervous about leaving so close to Christmas and traveling with a baby but excited at the same time. I’m still nervous about flying for whatever reason, too. I’ve never been nervous about flying like this before – people keep telling me its because I have a child now. Today I am going to work on packing and getting things in line around the house.
I still need to run a few errands and I'm getting a manicure on Wednesday, but other than that I think most of my running around is done. I love the pair of shoes I bought to go with my pretty green dress but they KILL my feet. But after what I've gone through hunting for them, I'll deal. I don't think I've ever owned a more uncomfortable pair of shoes!

And Puppy Makes Four (plus three!)

In an amazing sequence of events, my husband the worlds biggest puppy grinch, gave me an adorable little eight week old beagle puppy for Christmas! We've named the new addition to our family Elise and are calling her Ellie for short. Ellie is doing fantastic! She had he first vet appointment last Saturday and is in perfect health. She is doing great with going potty outside and is adjusting to her new home - She is quite the little ball of energy! Caden loves his new puppy and she loves him but maybe a little too much - Caden does get annoyed when she always wants to tackle him and give him kisses so we're working on that. My dad offered to puppy sit Ellie while we're on vacation which is why we decided to go ahead and bring her home now instead of waiting.
Speaking of which, we leave for our trip next week! We're excited but there is still so much left to do. I've started packing for Caden and tomorrow we are going to run out to pick up any last minute items for the trip. I'm still a little hesitant about leaving right before Christmas but I know we're going to have a great time. Having just about everything in order for the holidays really helps, too!

Tis the season

Well, the holiday season is almost upon us! With us leaving for that week before Christmas I've been rather busy trying to get things done in advance.

Christmas cards are ready to be sent out, shopping is done and presents are wrapped, our tree is already up (hehe), the lights are ready to be lit on the outside of the house... Exciting! Caden loves unwrapping presents and I have to re-wrap one. This actually makes me happy - now I'm even more excited for Christmas morning and watching our little boy open his presents!

Caden has SEVEN teeth now is number eight is ready to break through any day now - he has been a little more fussy than normal but I consider myself lucky - Caden teethes like a champ!

Caden also took his FIRST STEPS last week! He is 9.5 months old. He has been cruising along furniture for a while but these were official, not holding onto anything, first steps. He takes 1-3 steps at a time but his preferred method of transportation is still crawling.

We've been busy getting ready for our vacation, too. In less than a month we'll be on a beautiful beach in the Bahamas :D Followed by other beautiful beaches in the Western Caribbean. I bought a really pretty dress for the formal night and Caden got an adorable 3 piece suit. We've also started shopping and gathering all the necessary supplies. I'm nervous about everything, but excited, too.

Happy Halloween!

We had a fantastic Halloween! Originally we were just planning to take Caden to see friends and family in his costume since he was too young to trick or treat. In the end we decided to take him trick or treating anyway!
The weather was perfect - Cool but not too cold and the kids weren't too hot in their costumes. It didn't rain at all even thought the forecast called for the possibility of a few sprinkles here and there.
My Dad came by around 3pm to see Caden in his costume and we visited for a while. Shortly after my younger brother came over so that he could hand out candy while we were out. We get so many trick or treaters so I wanted to make sure someone was home. Around 4:30 pm trick or treating was in full force and our street was littered with all sorts of cute little ones in their costumes. Steve got home around 5pm and we fed Caden while we waited for my brother Neil, SIL Becky, and nephew Riley to arrive. They came over around 6pm and my Mom stopped by, too - she brought the kids a little toy and some candy. In the photo, Riley is the lion and Caden is the skunk ;).
We took the kids up and down our street... we were out for around an hour - Riley was on foot hence it took so long :) Everyone loved our little skunk and lion! By the time we got back to our house Caden was done and fell asleep in Daddy's arms.
We got home just before 7pm and ate dinner and just hung out for a little bit. By then Caden has woke up and he and Riley played for a while - Caden loves his big cousin and would follow him everywhere.

I'm glad we decided to take Caden tick or treating - I know he is too little to understand and all that but Steve and I had a lot of fun, too. It was fun to remember our own childhoods and make memories as a family.
This morning I took down a lot of our decorations... The larger things outside will Stay up until the weekend when Steve can help me. Then soon enough it will be time to put up our tree and all the holiday decorations and celebrate our first Christmas as a family of three... I can't wait!

9 months

Dear Caden,
On Wednesday you turned 9 months old. As with every day Daddy and I still are trying to figure out how time can pass so quickly. You are growing so big and so strong and we couldn't be more proud of you. You crawl, stand, cruise, laugh, play, dance, walk (holding our hands), "talk", chase kitties, bounce, and so much more. You have 5 teeth now - three on the bottom and 2 on the top.
You are such a funny baby. You make Mommy and Daddy laugh and smile a million different times every day. You announce the day by standing up in your crib, bouncing, and babbling. I walk into your room and greet you with a "good morning" and you squeal in delight as you smile, laugh, and bounce even more. Once you are changed and ready for the day you happily play on the living room floor while I prepare your breakfast and then we eat together - you love oatmeal. There is very little you don't like to eat... whenever Mommy and Daddy are eating you're are always eager to try a bite. You love cheerios and puffs and are eating more and more table food. Your doctor gave us the go ahead to start to increase all the different foods we give you and I know that will make you happy :).
Each day is different. If the weather is nice we will go outside play on the swing set Grandma gave you or we will go on a walk - you love to be outside. Some days we run errands and you are always such a good baby. You love going new places and everywhere we go you meet so many new people who love to play with you and see you smile. People always stop to say hello and say how cute you are - you love meeting new people as long as Mommy is near by.
Some days we go to Grandma's house and you visit with her and Riley... you always have so much fun and love to explore. Some days we just stay home and play just the two of us. When it is time for Mommy to clean or cook you always stay near by to lend a helping hand if needs be but usually you just play with all of your toys. You love your three kitties so very much and squeal and shout in excitement whenever they come into a room.
When Daddy comes home from work you always greet him with a big smile and crawl to him to say hello. We eat dinner together and you have such good baby table manners. After dinner Daddy gives you a bath and you have so much fun splashing in your tub - your favorite bath time toy is a purple tug boat. After your bath Daddy gets you dressed in your jammies and we all play for a while. You love to play "pookzilla", silly mommy, Ah-boo, patty cake, and you love it when we tickle you. Before long its time to go to bed and start our day again. You are such a happy baby and we hear that all the time from everyone we meet. A silly look on my face brings a smile to yours and a smile on your face never fails to melt my heart. I love you more than I ever imagined I could love anyone or anything in this world. Every day my love for you grows - you are my baby, my little boy, my life, and no matter how big you get or where life takes us you will always be my perfect little boy. You are perfect in every way and Mommy and Daddy, and everyone around you, loves you so very much. You will never be alone in this world, you will always be loved, you are so very special.

On Wednesday Mommy and Grandma took you to have your 9 month photos taken. Since we are going away for a week right before Christmas I had them take some holiday photos of you, too. And since Halloween is right around the corner we also took pictures in your costume. You did so well but you always do - you love the camera! You wore an adorable little sweater Mommy bought you and in some photos you wore nothing at all! I'm sure my collection of naked pictures will embarrass you when you are older but as of now you are quite the little nudist. You love running around and strutting your stuff - and your little baby butt is too cute for words. All of your pictures turned out so cute! Grandma also bought you an adorable winter teddy bear that you love to play with.On Thursday you went to the doctor for your 9 month check up. You weigh just under 22 lbs (21lbs, 15oz) and are 28-1/4 inches long. You are in perfect health and got your first dose of the flu shot and had your hemoglobin checked and you were tested for lead - both tests came back perfect.
Your first Halloween is coming up and we are excited about that - you are going to be a skunk and Auntie Becky, Uncle Neil, and cousin Riley are all coming over to go trick or treating with you. Grandpa wants to come see you in your costume, too. You look so cute in your costume. We are all looking forward to your first holiday season and have so many special days planned. We are also starting to gear up for your first big vacation! We are spending a week in the Caribbean in December and cannot wait to take you to the beach.
Well, I suppose I should wrap things up here. Happy 9 months baby boy - I love you more that words can describe.
Love,
Mommy

**The rest of Caden's 9 month photos will be uploaded to our website soon!!**

Warm Nights

There is little I miss about life before baby. We've settled in, adapted, and every day is definitely brighter with our little pook running around.

Even so, there are a few small things I miss from the months before Caden was born. While I was pregnant, before the bed rest, Steve and I loved to take walks together. We still do this with Caden and going on walks just the three of us is fantastic... but before Steve and I would go at all hours of the night. Whenever I couldn't sleep and just wanted to go for a walk, no matter how late it was, Steve would go with me. When the weather got too cold to walk and I was on bed rest, we'd hop in the car and drive around and just talk.
I can still remember our last late night walk. It was November and we had an unseasonably warm night. I had been on bed rest for over a month and was dying to get out, even though I shouldn't. Steve and I decided a short, calm walk just around the block wouldn't hurt and I took my blood pressure before we left just to make sure.
The night was beautiful and I am so happy we took advantage of it... we didn't see another night like that until spring. I remember talking about how that was most likely the last walk we'd take just the two of us... and it was.

Now on beautiful nights such as that, with Caden fast asleep in his crib, I miss those walks. I wouldn't trade anything for them but they were nice. But as with just about everything in our life, things have changed and we've adapted. Instead of prowling the neighborhood we are confined to the front porch, baby monitor in hand, and it is just as nice. And the adorable little man sleeping soundly in his crib makes it so much better.

Adventures in the pumpkin patch

I love fall. Autumn is by far the best (and obviously my personal favorite) of all the seasons. To celebrate the change in seasons, on Saturday, October 13th, Steve, Caden and I went to the pumpkin patch! I knew we were going to have a great time but I never expected to have quite so much fun!

We went to a farm about 20 minutes west of town – there are two parts to the farm… an apple orchard and a pumpkin farm. They had already picked pumpkins available at the barn store but if you wanted to pick your own pumpkin from the patch you had to pay to get into “Scarecrow Acers”. We opted to pick our own pumpkins and we wanted to spend some time at the farm so we went into that section of the farm first.

They had so many activities! Caden isn’t quite old enough to enjoy most of them but he still had a great time… There were pony rides, hay bale mazes, peddle tractor derby, giant hay mountains to climb on, petting zoo, play grounds, giant sandboxes filled with corn kernels, rompin’ roundup where kids could practice with a lasso, hay wagon and tractor rides, Haunted forest, woodland walk, little corn mazes, and of course the pumpkin patch just to name a few.

First we took Caden to the playground where he got to play on a big wooden tractor. Next we took him to play in the giant corn filled sandbox – Caden loved it! Of course we had to cork him with his pacifier otherwise he would have had too much fun trying to eat the kernels, but he had a blast nonetheless. He loved digging his feet and hands into the kernels and was so fascinated by everything… we couldn’t even get him to look up for a photograph! Once Caden had had enough of the corn we headed over to the giant hay mountain… Caden loved playing in the hay even more than the corn! He laughed and giggled as he kicked around in the hay.

After all the hay kicking fun we decided to take Caden to the petting zoo and stopped at some of the many photo opportunities along the way. The petting zoo was really cute - They had little cows, goats, sheep, chickens, lambs, and even a fat pot belly pig. All of the animals were so friendly and the little goats were rather intrigued by the PookASaurus (aka Caden ;) ).
Once we had our fill of friendly little barnyard animals we washed up and headed into the Haunted woods – which were young child friendly of course! There were animated Halloween scenes set up and sounds so it was nothing too scary for Caden, though a cawing crow did startle me at one point. At the end of the haunted woods was the trail for the woodland walk that we would have gone on but there were steep inclines and strollers were not allowed. So, we had to pass that portion of the farm by.

After playing around the farm and getting a scare in the haunted forest we grabbed a little red wagon and finally made our way to the pumpkin patch. We wandered through the patch for quite some time trying to find just the right pumpkins. We selected two large pumpkins for our pillars out front and then a medium sized, perfect little pumpkin for Caden.

On our way back to pay for our pumpkins we stopped at the CornCrib Café for some hot apple cider while Caden snacked on some cheerios. We then headed to the barn store and Caden played with some of the already picked pumpkins – he loved touching them! Daddy saw these cute little stripped pumpkins and decided to buy one of those for Caden, too.
There was even a little station set up with water and brushes to scrub your freshly picked pumpkins clean… of course we forgot this part and at some point soon I need to give our pumpkins a little scrub ;)

At the barn store we also bought a half-peck of apples fresh from the orchard to bring home and then took our wagon to the scales to pay – our 3 pumpkins came to 70lbs! We had a coupon for a free small pumpkin so when we finished paying we got to select a little pumpkin from the big wagon outside the store. Steve picked out a perfectly round pumpkin with a long curvy stem.
We then headed to the car to drop off our pumpkin loot before heading over to the giant corn maze.

The corn maze was located on the other side of the farm and we had to walk past the orchard to reach it. As we worked our way through the farm and past all of the apple trees we saw at least 20 different varieties of apples – the majority of which we’d never heard off… (I didn’t know there were quite so many, hehe). We sipped our cider and decided we would definitely be making time for apple picking on our next trip but at least today we still got to bring home some fresh apples even if we didn’t pick them ourselves.
We headed over to the corn maze and were surprised yet again – we expected to walk around lost in the corn for a while but the farm incorporated many other activities into the maze, too. The theme for the maze was “Old McDonald’s Farm” and we were given a flag to carry that had our team name on it (we were the “Mad Mazers” with a red and green flag). The flag allowed us to signal and communicate with the people running the maze if we had a problem or we wanted to leave. Hidden throughout the maze were clues to a crossword we could complete and 9 mail boxes… in each mailbox was a puzzle piece. Once completed, the puzzle was the map to the maze. Once you completed the maze you exited by meeting Mrs. McDonald on victory bridge where you would have to sing “e-i-e-i-o” to leave. The maze had 2.5miles worth of trails and on average took 45 minutes to complete, and hour and a half-ish if you decided to find all the crossword clues and puzzle pieces.

We accidentally cheated and found Victory Bridge in only 5 minutes! There was a small path in the corn that wasn’t supposed to be there but we weren’t sure and took it anyway… it was a shortcut to the end. We were having fun so we decided to turn around, get lost again, and try to find our way out for real. We ended up getting quite lost among the corn stalks and before long my feet were killing me. 45 minutes later we didn’t find the true way out but I did manage to find the accidental cheating shortcut again so I decided that was good enough and took it, hehe.
Next year we are going to do the corn maze again but we’ll do that first next time. I have heel spurs and my feet were already hurting when we began the maze from all the time spent in the pumpkin patch! Even so we still had a lot of fun… Caden did too but he did seize the opportunity to take a short nap.

Once we winded our way out of the corn we made a quick stop at the orchard bakery and gift shop. They had such adorable crafts and decorations and the bakery smelled wonderful from all the fresh baked treats and pies. We decided to treat ourselves to some fresh homemade apple cider donuts… they were delicious! We decided to grab another cup of hot apple cider to sip on the way home and headed back to the car.

On the ride home we decided that we were definitely going to make this a yearly family tradition. I can’t wait to go back next year! We are going to make sure to go to the apple orchard, too, but we might make a separate trip for that. The maze and the pumpkin farm took the better part of a day and by the time we got home and ate dinner we were beat! We played with Caden for a bit, put him to bed, and ended up passing out on the living room floor for a little bit.

We have many more pictures posted on our website if you have the address!

Early

Caden decided to start his day a little earlier today- the joys of teething. I really cannot complain though. He goes to bed every night between 7:30 and 8pm and sleeps until anywhere between 6:30am (as the case today) to 9am. While the extra hour of sleep is nice, I actually enjoy getting up at 6:30... as long as I put myself to bed at a decent hour the night before.
The earlier start to our day gives us a chance to spend a little time with Steve and see him off for work - and despite being notorious for not being a morning person... I love the early hours of the day. I love the way the light hits the big oak in the front yard, the dew on the grass, the birds chirping, the calmness that only comes in the morning hours.
That calmness of course is a little different these days...

I used to love the Saturday and Sunday mornings I'd wake up earlier than expected. I sit and enjoy a cup of coffee, write, read, watch. Today I find my self in a similar routine as I sip my cup and write these words... but the silence and calm is something completely new. As any mommy surely knows, there really is no silence but the calm is still there. The light is bouncing off the oak, the birds are chirping, the grass is wet with dew, and my son happily sits next to me on the floor babbling, squawking, spinning toys, hugging his favorite dinosaur, and giggling in delight.

So much changes when you have a baby - Some things you expected, some things never crossed your mind, many things you never notice until the early morning one day. Your life just changes and you adapt and you wake up to realize that your life truly is not your own anymore.
Some of these changes, especially the expected ones, are easy... some are hard... but most are automatic.

I love being a mother, in every sense. I'd be lying if I said it was the easiest thing I've ever done but it is by far the most rewarding.

To my baby boy at 3 months

Dear Caden,

Its hard to believe that it has been over three months since I first held you in my arms, since I first heard your tiny little cry, since I first looked into your beautiful eyes. Mommy and Daddy love you so much and every day of the past 3 months have been nothing short of amazing. Every day is wonderful simply because you are in our life.
You are such an amazing little baby, our little miracle. You love to smile and coo, and Mommy and Daddy love when you do those things! Everyone does - your little smile has the ability to brighten every room and you have touched the lives of everyone around you. In your third month here there are so many things you are doing and enjoy now. You love to sit on Mommy and Daddy's lap and look around, you love when Daddy gives you little airplane rides and gives you your bath every night. We play a lot and you always squeal and coo in delight - it melts Mommy's heart every time. You love to snuggle up and take a nap or just look in our eyes. We love every thing about you.
Daddy is so proud of you, his little man. I don't think there is anyone on earth so in love and so proud as your Daddy is of you. Not a night has gone by that your Daddy hasn't looked down at you in his arms, smiled the biggest smile, and gone on and on about how cute and perfect and awesome you are.

Everyone is in love with you! Your grandparents, aunts and uncles, cousins... Before you were even born Mommy had a great big shower and everyone brought you lots of presents and was already so excited to meet you. The other weekend you got to meet all of Daddy's relatives at your "Meet the Baby" shower. Again, you got lots and lots of presents but you stole the show. Everyone said what a good and beautiful baby you are (some even said you should be a girl you're so pretty, hehe). You had a lot of fun and so many snuggles. When it was time to go home everyone was already so excited to see you again and were talking about next time.
Over this past weekend we took you for a day out window shopping. You slept most of the time but everyone who passed smiled at you. Lots of people stopped and said hello, even other mommies stopped to say how cute you were. I love that about you - that not only do you bring joy to every day of our life, but you put a smile on the face of anyone and everyone you encounter.
Mommy and Daddy already bought you your 1st birthday present! Early, yes, but we know you are going to love it. You also came with us to pick out some flowers for our yard - We are going to plant a flower for you so we can watch it grow as you do.

I'm sorry I am a day late in this letter, I meant to write it to you on your exact 3 month birthday but we had a big day yesterday. You and I went to visit Grandma and play with your little cousin Riley. Riley came to visit you in the hospital with Uncle Neil and Auntie Becky but he didn't know what to think of you. In the months since he has still been a little weary of your presence but now he loves you just as much as the rest of our world. Riley is 20 months old and is looking forward to playing with you when you are older. He loves to give you lots of kisses - to him you are known as "baby!". When you would nap he would peer over to see you. Then the three of us (you, Mommy, and Riley) played outside in the grass for a little bit. You even got to cuddle and play with your Uncle Neil before we went home. You were all smiles all day and love when we go to Grandma’s, and she loves when you come to visit.

Mommy and Daddy still can't believe how fast the time has passed. We are so excited for all the days to come and the plans we have to do together. You are such a special, amazing little baby and I want you to always know how much you are loved. All those around you have loved you since the day you were conceived, and that will never change. Happy 3 month birthday my beautiful baby boy.

Love always (and then some!),

Mommy and Daddy

In the end

During the first trimester of my pregnancy I knew things could go wrong. I didn't let it inhibit my excitement over being pregnant and I didn't dwell on that but I knew nothing was promised. When I entered my second trimester I breathed a sigh of relief and when I hit 20 weeks I felt great. We had our ultrasound, baby was doing great, mom was doing great, things couldn't be better. Everything was perfect and I was so happy and so in love with my pregnancy (and my baby of course!). Not that I wasn't before but at this point everything was just wonderful - no more morning sickness, I felt great, and I was truly enjoying every aspect of my pregnancy.

Then 2 weeks later it all came crashing down.

When my blood pressure shot up I thought to myself "okay, I can deal with this". They had me do the 24 hour urine collection and I thought everything would be okay. I've always been healthy, I'm young, in shape, things will be fine. When the call came the next day that my kidneys were spilling a significant amount of protein (503) I felt like I was punched in the stomach. Then everything was just a whirlwind... bed rest, blood tests, extra appointments, at home blood pressure monitoring, etc. And every time a blood test or urine collection or whatever came back "bad" it was another slap in the face with how my body is failing me. How my body failed at this pregnancy.

I spent the last 4 months of my pregnancy on bed rest. Every extra appointment, test, collection, blood pressure reading - all of it was a reminder of how my body was failing me and my unborn son. When I was told to expect my baby premature it devastated me for about a day - then I was determined to make sure I did everything possible (not that I wasn't already), no matter the sacrifice, for the sake of my little boy. This is something I've kept up to this day and will continue to for the rest of my life, no matter what happens beyond my control.

The “bad” days were always brightened by a kick and a wiggle. I talked to my unborn son daily and marveled at how much I could love this little person who had not even been born. How he had the ability to turn a bad day good, to put a smile on my face, and to make all right with the world when he hadn't even taken his first breath. But even so the reminders of how my body failed us were still there in the background. Even though I was still carrying my son, he was doing well, and things could be so much worse, the thoughts were there.

When we made it to term those feelings let up slightly. Despite every obstacle placed before us, I - my body, still carried my beautiful little boy to 39 weeks. Then when Caden crashed during labor, I thought I was going to lose him and needed an emergency c-section the thoughts of failure came flooding back. When the quite of that sterile operation room was broken by the sound of my son crying nothing mattered. The stress, worry, tests, surgery, everything was worth it and has been ever since.

In the months since Caden's birth everything "bad" has melted away from daily life... but far back in my mind, hiding in a dark corner were the feelings of how my body failed me both during my pregnancy and the issues I face now. I regret that I wasn't able to enjoy my pregnancy 100%, that I failed at a vaginal delivery, that I failed at a healthy pregnancy.

Yesterday as I nursed my son I once again marveled at our love for each other, his ability to make me smile, to make the bad days good, and to make everything right with the world. His smile warms my heart in a way words cannot describe. I looked at his little hand as it grasped my finger and stared in his eyes. I can't believe how perfect he is and that he is mine. His 10 perfect fingers, his 10 perfect toes, his beautiful face, his amazing smile. I gazed at my healthy, happy baby boy and knew... my body didn't fail me and it didn't fail my son. Sure I might not have had the prefect pregnancy and I might not have had the perfect labor and delivery but here is my little boy, perfect as can be, and he is mine.

Becoming Mommy

Thats all the world needs - another Mommy blog. I've been meaning to start this blog for sometime now but the 2 months and 2 weeks since the birth of my son have been hectic to say the least. But I love to write and can do quite well with it when I want to so the return to the blog world was inevitable. I've kept a blog in the past regarding my pregnancy but I'd like to keep that private and the birth of my son brought a new chapter.
My pregnancy was labeled high risk due to pre-eclampsia and while I never for even a minute doubted that I would hold my beautiful baby boy in my arms, there was worry and stress. Complications with me, my son, premature birth... all were expected. But on January 24, 2007, after 26 hours of labor, fetal distress, and an emergency c-section, my son was welcomed into this world full term and perfectly healthy. Caden Michael weighed in at 7lbs, 6oz and 19inces long. He was greeted by his loving and proud Mommy and Daddy, adoring Grandparents, and a host of Aunts and Uncles. Every day since I wake in the morning and think to myself - How lucky are we? Steve (my husband) and I have our perfect little boy, our cute little house, 3 funky cats, a loving family, and are finally our beautiful little family of three.

Caden is a healthy, happy baby - he is gaining well and growing and hitting all the milestones expected. He's already rolled over, holds his head up, smiles and coos all the time, is showing interest in toys and loves his Mommy and Daddy most of all.
Becoming Mommy hasn't been the easiest thing I've done in my life by far. I knew the day I found out I was pregnant that this would be hard - the most difficult I could imagine. But even so I had no idea just how hard becoming mommy would be. Nothing is the same - even the most tiny detail of everyday life is forever changed. Welcoming Caden into the world and bringing him home with us required us to re-organize or entire life. We've had to learn how to do even the simplest task again - and differently now that we had a baby. We've had to rethink how we do everything and discover how to live this new life with our son. It is an ongoing process and we learn something new every day but so far I think we have done quite well! The first few weeks were tough but slowly we are learning and settling into our new life. Projects around the house have started up again, outings have been planned, things get done, and laughter and love fill our house. There are still the hard days, tummy aches and sleepless nights - and while I dream of a good nights sleep, calm my child through his fussy moments and tummy aches, and some days accomplish nothing at all beyond baby, not a moment goes by that I don't realize how worth it everything is. The complications of my pregnancy, the worry and stress, a complicated delivery, all that disappeared the moment I heard my son cry the first time and looked into his tiny eyes. And the stress of those "bad" days and sleepless nights melt away the second my little boy looks up at me, smiles, and lets out a little coo. Nothing compares to those first smiles your child gives that are only for you... except every smile afterwards. The way his eyes light up when he sees me is amazing. He is amazing. Steve and I still look at him and can't believe that we made this perfect little person - that one day on our honeymoon led to him and that he is ours.
Yesterday I was talking with my Mother. I was telling her how late at night after I finish nursing Caden and lay him back in his crib to sleep… no matter how exhausted I am and no matter how much I just want to go back to bed I can't resist when he looks up at me and smiles. I stand there in the dim light of his nursery looking at him as he gazes up and we smile at each other. She looked at me with a little grin and said "It's amazing how much you can love them - you never know just how much you can love until they are here". And she is right. I loved Caden the moment I knew he was inside me. I fell more in love with him every day that passed. With every wiggle, every kick, every hiccup, my love grew. I was amazed at how much I could love a person I'd never even seen. But that was nothing compared to the first moment I held him in my arms and every day since. The love you have for you child is like nothing I'd even known. I love my son with all of my heart and a thousand more and there is nothing I wouldn't do for him. The challenges of becoming mommy are many - but the rewards are so much more.

Beyond our little bundle of joy there are 2 more that make up our family of three. My husband and I were married on April 29, 2006 and are getting ready to celebrate our first anniversary. Caden was conceived on our honeymoon and while he was a very welcomed surprise, it isn't like we didn't know what we were doing. Our wedding was amazing and its still hard to believe its almost been a year - and even more how far we've come in such a short time. Prior to finding out I was pregnant we were planning a big trip for our first anniversary and we were getting ready to book when those 2 pink lines appeared. Now things have changed but we are still planning a great night, even though it will be a little more quiet.

I don't know what will happen with this blog. I don't know who will read it if anyone, I don't know who I might pass the address along to. Perhaps it will die out like previous ones, or maybe I'll do better at maintaining it. But this is me and my life - while not the choice of all and not the most exciting to some, its everything to me and my family of three.