Long time, no blog...

When I started this blog I thought for sure I’d keep up with it more than I had in the past... I had a goal, something to work toward, and a lot on my mind. When that didn’t happen I thought for sure when I got pregnant that would be it... Now I would really be able to keep up... Again, that hasn’t quite happened.

I suppose a lot of this has to do with the time of year - I just haven’t been online much in general and I haven’t had much desire to be. On days that morning sickness is at its worst, the last thing I want to do is stare at a computer screen... And with all the beautiful weather we’ve been having on the days morning sickness isn’t too bad, the last thing I want to do is be stuck inside and stare at a computer screen.

The good news is that we have got a lot done. For a while now we have wanted to start a real veggie garden with a raised bed.. We finally got around to that. Thanks to the help of my awesome mom we got the bed done yesterday. Steve and I filled it with dirt last night and bought our plants and in a few minutes here Caden and I will head outside to get things planted. Beyond that I still need to plant flowers in one of the beds out front and mulch the other two. I also want to plant some flowers in containers out back and I want to make another bed along the back of the house. In addition to cleaning out the pond and getting that going, I think these things will be our focus this weekend.

In addition to our yard, there is so much I want to get done around the house, too. We need to work on cleaning out and organizing the basement so that I can start moving and setting up my craft space down there. We need to start Caden’s “big boy” room, too. We’ve started collecting some things and hope to shop for the rest of the furniture and big items in a few weeks. I want to change the closet and interior door’s in the baby’s room (and the rest of the house, one down so far) and I still need to trim the door we have replaced. Then there is normal cleaning and upkeep around here....

Add into that my desire to at least catch up on Caden’s scrapbook and work on a few other crafts and well.... Makes for a very busy me.

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As for my pregnancy - so far things are going great! For the most part I feel pretty good - Morning sickness seems to come in waves and some days are definitely worse than others. Staying active and up and about seems to really help with how sick I feel. I threw up a few times a week or so ago but nothing since... Just lots of nausea but I’ve also been on the go just about constantly. Of course when I’m feeling good I’m worried that it means there is something wrong and then when the nausea hits again I wonder why I was crazy for wishing it back... Its a vicious cycle but well worth it. I seem to feel the worst around meals - Perhaps its the food or that I let myself get too hungry.. But so far I haven’t found a way around this one. I definitely have no complaints though - everything could be much worse and I am just feeling so blessed to be here.

Before I got pregnant I was a little worried about exhaustion but it isn’t nearly as bad as it was with Caden. With him I was early to bed, early to rise and now its just the opposite. I think dealing with the exhaustion of PCOS in addition to having a toddler keeping me on my toes has helped. I can usually force myself to stay up until 11:30 if I must, but have been going to bed around 10:30pm on average. This was unheard of with Caden but I think this is a change in lifestyle... Post bed time is mommy time and I’m not ready to give that up! Afternoon naps are pretty common but then there are days, such as yesterday, I skip those too. It all depends on what I have to do. Things are definitely different this time around... And I think that has more to do with being responsible for an adorable little man more than anything.

Other symptoms include the usual - my breasts aren’t tender but they never were with Caden either. However, they have increased in size. Pregnancy dreams are in full force and they are pretty crazy - and constant bathroom breaks are common. I don’t usually notice them unless we’re out or I’m trying to watch a movie or something, and in the middle of the night which gets annoying. A little bit of heartburn here and there and a lot of food aversions.. Fun mood swings and a bit more emotional..... And thats about it.

I wish I could say the anxiety has gone but I still worry.. A lot. It has improved greatly, but I still have yet to fully settle into things. I still don’t *feel* pregnant but then I never really did with Caden, either. I keep saying that after the next appt I’ll feel better, and it helps, but not completely. My next appt isn’t until June 9th - I’ll be 10 weeks and hopefully we’ll hear the heartbeat by Doppler. I can’t wait.

I have calmed down a lot from weeks prior at least... Ever since our ultrasound. I immediately update my various preg groups but am a bit ashamed I never posted here...

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Our first ultrasound was last week on May 12th. I started this entry with a photo of our beautiful little baby because that was what was most important, even though I saved the best for last. Steve took the day off work since the appt was at 10:30am. We dropped Caden off at my Mom’s and headed in. I was so nervous - excited, but so very nervous.

Linda (the sonographer) greeted us with a big smile and mentioned how happy she was to see my name for an OB ultrasound. We went into the room and got situated and then she turned the machine on. I immediately asked if there was a baby and she said to just hold on and turned the screen to me...
“there is the gestational sac....” to which my mind flashed to there only being a gestational sac and I blurted out “is there no heartbeat?!” Linda was clearly interrupted and simply asked “Now didn’t you see that little flicker?” A flicker? There was a flicker? I knew what a flicker meant and immediately all was right in my world. Steve squeezed my hand and Linda zoomed in... And there it was, clear as day.. Our beautiful little baby’s heart beating strongly at 122 bpm. With the exception of method for viewing, I could have sat there watching that little heart beating away all day.

The baby measured right on track. I had a large-ish cyst on my left ovary which is suspected to be a corpus luteum cyst and the source of our little one. Before all was done we got to check in on him/her one more time. S/he might only have been a little blob on a computer screen, but I could help but fall in love.

After the ultrasound we sat down with my doctor. She went over my labs and everything looked great except my 24 hour urine collection... It was within normal range but a little higher (low 200s) than what is she wanted to see. She said it might be worth re-checking after I have the baby (it is not currently a pregnancy issue) and it might warrant a further look into my kidney function, but she doesn’t think there is really anything to be done right now since it is still in normal range.

After the appointment Steve and I headed to Borders to buy a pregnancy journal (ended up with 2!) and then we stopped off to buy the baby a gift as we did after Caden’s first appointment. This time we bought him/her 2 cute little sleepers and we bought big brother Caden some jammies, too. We then had a nice lunch before picking up the little man. It was a perfect day and we now have our little one’s first picture proudly displayed - I can’t wait to see (and meet!) him/her again.

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I think this entry has ended up long enough... I suppose that is what happens when you don’t update for a while. I want to make it a point to write more often as this is probably the best way I have to chronicle all of this right now, but at the same time I’m enjoying time away from the computer with my favorite two guys.... So we’ll see... ;)For now I have some veggies to plant...