Its the middle of August, summer is almost done, and I am impressed at just how quickly this summer passed. Just how quickly time has been slipping away from me.
This summer has been busy but fun! We haven’t really done a whole lot of big things, so how these months passed so quickly I’m not sure. We’ve played outside a lot, went to the zoo (finally posted pics), cook outs, parties, swim lessons, Steve got a wii, I got a new laptop, lots of craft stuff going on, made progress in our basement, went to the fair, weathered some storms, walked with the wagon, played at the park, chased beagles, cleaned messes... Its been a low key summer and its been nice!
We have switched Caden into cloth diapers full time now and surprisingly even Steve loves them! The added work is really minimal and its so nice not to have to worry about buying diapers. And of course the environmental aspect is great. Caden’s brightly colored, adorable cloth covered bum is a nice perk, too :) Plus, we can use them on the next baby.
So what about the next baby some have asked... Soon enough! But not too soon of course. We’ve been talking about it and have ideas in place. If I wrote this entry 2 days ago it would have been filled with gushing and excitement regarding our next child - but yesterday Caden was having an “off” day - complete with a temper tantrum that lead to a frazzled Mommy stealing half a tank of gas, so I’m okay with waiting a little bit longer ( but not too long ;)).
As for the gas, after I realized I didn’t pay for it I headed back over and took care of the bill and felt like a super huge ass. The clerk didn’t report my crime spree at that point as he suspected it to be an honest mistake and that I’d be back... I did insert my card into the machine, I just lifted the nozzle and started pumping before confirming on the screen or something - And I managed to do this at probably the last pump on earth that doesn’t require you to prepay. I’ll be honest, I hate pumping gas so Steve usually takes care of it - I think we’ll stick to that set up now!
In summary everyone in our land of 3 is doing wonderful. Caden, despite his off day, is adorable as always and keeps us on our toes. Ellie has grown so much and will be a year old next month, the cats are great as well and finally getting used to life in a house with a crazy little person running around and a beagle on the prowl, and Caden adores his beagle and elusive kitty cats. Progress has been made on the house, we've been having fun, and life has been simple for the first time in so long.. I'm loving it.
I keep meaning to blog more and hope to have the time to do so soon. But I’ve been pretty terrible at posting this summer so yeah. The shorter days of fall and winter that are fast approaching lead to more time inside and thus more time to kill, right? I guess we’ll see!
Friday, August 15, 2008
Tuesday, July 29, 2008
Everywhere you go
Dear Caden,
You’re 18 months old now and boy have we been busy! So much that I haven’t had time to write you (or anything really!) in quite some time. But 18 months warrants some time set aside from our day to write to you and as always, I’m wondering where the time has gone.
We’ve been so busy this summer – Daddy and I took you to the zoo for the first time back in May and you had a blast. Your favorite animal to see was the otter. It was a really wonderful day. We also had Swim lessons! You love the water so we knew you’d love the big pool and you did. We’d splash and sing and play… you loved to play humpty dumpty and practice kicking your feet. You love to run and jump and play, and you love to toss things in the pond in the backyard. You love your swing and ball pit, and you love your wagons. You love to play with your puppy, and you love your Mommy and Daddy. I love it when you run up to me and wrap your arms around my legs. I love you so very much.
Yesterday you had your 18month doctor checkup. You weigh 30.4lbs and are over 34 inches tall!! You’re going to be tall just like your Daddy. Everything went normal at first and I fully expected a routine appointment. Unfortunately, this appointment wasn’t. The doctor noticed a difference in skin fold on your left leg, and your knee looked lower than the other but it was hard to tell because you were squirming. Because of the 2 symptoms, the doctor wanted xrays done to test you for something called DDH (Developmental Dysplasia of the Hip). In infants this problem can usually be corrected with a brace, but by 18months, DDH requires extensive hip surgery, months of recovery, a scary cast… a terrible ordeal for any child to go through. You are such a vibrant little boy, you love to run and jump and climb and you are always on the go. I just couldn’t imagine this. I was devastated and I freaked out. Waiting for those xrays and waiting for the call after they were read had to be the longest 3 hours of my life.
While 2 symptoms is alarming… the family of ours who read this blog (and are old enough to remember) know what really sent my terror over the edge. I was born with DDH (though not called that at the time). I had to wear the braces as a baby but it was caught early and that’s all I had to do. So the 2 symptoms and the history really had me scared.
Finally I got the call - Your x-rays were normal, you do not have DDH. You are perfectly fine and healthy and I am so relieved and so very thankful.
You amaze me every day. You amaze me with the things you do and you amaze me with the love you’ve brought into my life. I never in my life imagined how I could love anything the way I love you, and amazingly that love doubles every morning I wake up and see your smiling face. Just when I think I couldn’t possibly love any more, that my heart couldn’t be more full, I wake up and I do. I love the funny things to do, I love to watch you play. I love you, my little boy. Even when you’re getting into everything, or climbing the book cases, or throwing my laptop to the floor. I love you every second of every day, and I am so thankful that you’re in my life - here, happy, healthy.
As always I so look forward to what the next months will bring. Play dates and parties, pumpkin patches and Santa, trick or treats and turkey dinners, bed time books and lots of giggles. Oh how I love those little giggles and how I love those big belly laughs – they are truly intoxicating. Your smile still brightens a room, your laugh never fails to warm my heart. And everywhere you go you still bring smiles to the faces of everyone you meet. People still stop to meet you , to take in your smiles. And as always, I am so proud and so very thankful that you are my little boy.
I love you always,
Mommy
You’re 18 months old now and boy have we been busy! So much that I haven’t had time to write you (or anything really!) in quite some time. But 18 months warrants some time set aside from our day to write to you and as always, I’m wondering where the time has gone.
We’ve been so busy this summer – Daddy and I took you to the zoo for the first time back in May and you had a blast. Your favorite animal to see was the otter. It was a really wonderful day. We also had Swim lessons! You love the water so we knew you’d love the big pool and you did. We’d splash and sing and play… you loved to play humpty dumpty and practice kicking your feet. You love to run and jump and play, and you love to toss things in the pond in the backyard. You love your swing and ball pit, and you love your wagons. You love to play with your puppy, and you love your Mommy and Daddy. I love it when you run up to me and wrap your arms around my legs. I love you so very much.
Yesterday you had your 18month doctor checkup. You weigh 30.4lbs and are over 34 inches tall!! You’re going to be tall just like your Daddy. Everything went normal at first and I fully expected a routine appointment. Unfortunately, this appointment wasn’t. The doctor noticed a difference in skin fold on your left leg, and your knee looked lower than the other but it was hard to tell because you were squirming. Because of the 2 symptoms, the doctor wanted xrays done to test you for something called DDH (Developmental Dysplasia of the Hip). In infants this problem can usually be corrected with a brace, but by 18months, DDH requires extensive hip surgery, months of recovery, a scary cast… a terrible ordeal for any child to go through. You are such a vibrant little boy, you love to run and jump and climb and you are always on the go. I just couldn’t imagine this. I was devastated and I freaked out. Waiting for those xrays and waiting for the call after they were read had to be the longest 3 hours of my life.
While 2 symptoms is alarming… the family of ours who read this blog (and are old enough to remember) know what really sent my terror over the edge. I was born with DDH (though not called that at the time). I had to wear the braces as a baby but it was caught early and that’s all I had to do. So the 2 symptoms and the history really had me scared.
Finally I got the call - Your x-rays were normal, you do not have DDH. You are perfectly fine and healthy and I am so relieved and so very thankful.
You amaze me every day. You amaze me with the things you do and you amaze me with the love you’ve brought into my life. I never in my life imagined how I could love anything the way I love you, and amazingly that love doubles every morning I wake up and see your smiling face. Just when I think I couldn’t possibly love any more, that my heart couldn’t be more full, I wake up and I do. I love the funny things to do, I love to watch you play. I love you, my little boy. Even when you’re getting into everything, or climbing the book cases, or throwing my laptop to the floor. I love you every second of every day, and I am so thankful that you’re in my life - here, happy, healthy.
As always I so look forward to what the next months will bring. Play dates and parties, pumpkin patches and Santa, trick or treats and turkey dinners, bed time books and lots of giggles. Oh how I love those little giggles and how I love those big belly laughs – they are truly intoxicating. Your smile still brightens a room, your laugh never fails to warm my heart. And everywhere you go you still bring smiles to the faces of everyone you meet. People still stop to meet you , to take in your smiles. And as always, I am so proud and so very thankful that you are my little boy.
I love you always,
Mommy
Wednesday, April 30, 2008
Time flies when you're having fun
Most days it feels like we've been together so much longer than five years. Five years isn't long in the grand scheme of things, but it makes sense though when those five years are out of only 25, and encompass the majority of your adult life thus far. So it caught me off guard when I woke up yesterday and two years had officially passed since our wedding day - April 29, 2006 was two years gone in memory.
I can still remember every detail so well; I can remember everything as if today were April 30, 2006. The piece of pie Charlie insisted I try in the late hours of the night of April 28th, waking up and getting in the shower, the drive to the hair salon, waiting on the staircase of Baker Memorial as the processional music started to play, seeing my soon to be husband for the first time. I can remember the smell of the breeze ways of our honeymoon resort, the sound of the ocean and the palm trees, the pure and utter bliss of the following weeks, the floating on clouds feeling.. well, before morning sickness set in ;).
It feels like ages ago that Steve was my fiancé, yet it feels like yesterday he became my husband. Even now I still sometimes crack a smile when I hear husband, wife, Mrs.
I was caught off guard yesterday when I noticed a slight anxiety in the air. How could two years have already passed in mere moments? Just last week I finally arranged several of our wedding keepsakes in shadowboxes, just last month I finally found a place for a trinket we bought on our honeymoon, just the other day I finally placed a photo in one of the frames we bought in Playa Del Carmen. I haven't even started our scrapbooks, how can 2 years have come and gone?
We've now been married longer than we were engaged - and the past two years have been quite the amazing whirlwind. Really, the past five years. We've come so far and accomplished so much, but it is all still going by so quickly. My baby is already 15 months, a toddler. The past two years have been wonderful, and they always say time flies when you're having fun.
Its crazy to look back at the past several years of my life. 2002 I moved into my own apartment at College, 2003 I met Steve, fell in love, and we moved in together. 2004 brought our engagement, 2005 the purchase of our first home and the bulk of planning our wedding. In 2006 we were married and became pregnant with our first child, 2007 brought the birth of our little boy. I love being here in 2008, with nothing huge and monumental going on, enjoying life, being our little family of three. I am so excited to see what 2008, 2009 brings... 2010, 2011, 2012.. 2030...
We had a nice anniversary. Steve brought me a dozen red roses and white hydrangea... On the morning of our wedding he sent me a dozen red and white roses so red and white only seemed fitting. We had a quiet evening, we "celebrated" over the weekend though most wouldn't consider what we did celebrating - it was perfect. The traditional second wedding anniversary gift is cotton so we bought one big gift for each other - new bedding! It is beautiful, soft, perfect. This of course led to a complete remodel of or bedroom and thats what we worked on this weekend. Our bedroom prior was less than inviting and not very welcoming. The walls are now a pale blue, cream bedding, very spa/beach feeling - Our honeymoon was amazingly perfect and I took inspiration for the room from that. We hung shelves to place some wedding keepsakes on, carefully placed in shadow boxes. Dried flowers, our invitation... I love our bedroom and it is perfect! I couldn't imagine a better anniversary gift. Before I had no desire to be in that room, now I want to spend all our time in there. It was a chance to do something for just us, something we haven’t done in a long time.
I don't know what tomorrow brings. I'm not sure what the future holds, but I am so grateful for all I have, for all I've been given. For my husband, my son, my family. My past, my memories, the last 25+ years. For tomorrow, for next week… even though its not promised.
So here’s to two beautiful years, and the anticipation of so many more.
I can still remember every detail so well; I can remember everything as if today were April 30, 2006. The piece of pie Charlie insisted I try in the late hours of the night of April 28th, waking up and getting in the shower, the drive to the hair salon, waiting on the staircase of Baker Memorial as the processional music started to play, seeing my soon to be husband for the first time. I can remember the smell of the breeze ways of our honeymoon resort, the sound of the ocean and the palm trees, the pure and utter bliss of the following weeks, the floating on clouds feeling.. well, before morning sickness set in ;).
It feels like ages ago that Steve was my fiancé, yet it feels like yesterday he became my husband. Even now I still sometimes crack a smile when I hear husband, wife, Mrs.
I was caught off guard yesterday when I noticed a slight anxiety in the air. How could two years have already passed in mere moments? Just last week I finally arranged several of our wedding keepsakes in shadowboxes, just last month I finally found a place for a trinket we bought on our honeymoon, just the other day I finally placed a photo in one of the frames we bought in Playa Del Carmen. I haven't even started our scrapbooks, how can 2 years have come and gone?
We've now been married longer than we were engaged - and the past two years have been quite the amazing whirlwind. Really, the past five years. We've come so far and accomplished so much, but it is all still going by so quickly. My baby is already 15 months, a toddler. The past two years have been wonderful, and they always say time flies when you're having fun.
Its crazy to look back at the past several years of my life. 2002 I moved into my own apartment at College, 2003 I met Steve, fell in love, and we moved in together. 2004 brought our engagement, 2005 the purchase of our first home and the bulk of planning our wedding. In 2006 we were married and became pregnant with our first child, 2007 brought the birth of our little boy. I love being here in 2008, with nothing huge and monumental going on, enjoying life, being our little family of three. I am so excited to see what 2008, 2009 brings... 2010, 2011, 2012.. 2030...
We had a nice anniversary. Steve brought me a dozen red roses and white hydrangea... On the morning of our wedding he sent me a dozen red and white roses so red and white only seemed fitting. We had a quiet evening, we "celebrated" over the weekend though most wouldn't consider what we did celebrating - it was perfect. The traditional second wedding anniversary gift is cotton so we bought one big gift for each other - new bedding! It is beautiful, soft, perfect. This of course led to a complete remodel of or bedroom and thats what we worked on this weekend. Our bedroom prior was less than inviting and not very welcoming. The walls are now a pale blue, cream bedding, very spa/beach feeling - Our honeymoon was amazingly perfect and I took inspiration for the room from that. We hung shelves to place some wedding keepsakes on, carefully placed in shadow boxes. Dried flowers, our invitation... I love our bedroom and it is perfect! I couldn't imagine a better anniversary gift. Before I had no desire to be in that room, now I want to spend all our time in there. It was a chance to do something for just us, something we haven’t done in a long time.
I don't know what tomorrow brings. I'm not sure what the future holds, but I am so grateful for all I have, for all I've been given. For my husband, my son, my family. My past, my memories, the last 25+ years. For tomorrow, for next week… even though its not promised.
So here’s to two beautiful years, and the anticipation of so many more.
Thursday, March 20, 2008
Screams and Spring
About an hour after Caden went to bed last night the house was calm - Steve decided to put the last of the latches on a few of the cabinets we missed - nothing dangerous in them, just annoying when Caden constantly wants to pull out all the cat food and stack the cans.
I took the time to relax on the couch for a bit and play catch up with the DVR when all of the sudden a blood curdling scream broke the silence. It sounded as if something terrible was happening and all I could think to do is scream to Steve "Something's wrong!" and take off to Caden - I don't think I've ever moved quite so fast.
Steve and I bust into Caden's room and he was still screaming, but he was fine. He wasn't caught on anything, he wasn't stuck, just screaming. I pulled him out of his crib and he placed his head on my shoulder and started to calm down. He sobbed a few times and was fine. He never even opened his eyes so I don't know if he was even awake.
I brought him to the living room and cuddled him as he slept on me for a few hours. I watched him breath, move, etc... just to make sure all was okay. We took his temp, everything normal. I can only assume my poor little boy had a terrible nightmare... one that sure scared the hell out of me. He is doing fine today though he did wake with quite the case of morning bed head, hehe. I just wish I knew what scared him so much, but I am glad I was able to make everything okay for him.
Beyond the evening screams, things are rather pleasant around our home. Today we welcome spring while under a winter storm warning, but that isn't all too surprising. I'm quite ready to be done with the snow and cold, though. Signs of spring are all around - the tree in the back yard has started to bud, I believe I saw some of our lilies break the dirt, and the lilac bush Steve gave me for Mother's Day last year has started to bud as well. I'm looking forward to being able to move out doors and work on our spring time projects. Luckily with the addition of the new front porch/patio last summer, there isn't much to do out front except plant some annuals, mulch, etc. The back yard will be our focus this year. We really want to replace the back deck, but I think we'll be keeping most of the big projects on hold for this season - we did a lot last year.
Caden is doing so well - its amazing how much change each day brings. Every morning he wakes up with more hair, new words, new games to play. He loves his legos and he loves playing with Ellie now. He likes to show off for company and run and play. We took him to the Easter egg hunt on Saturday at the park district and he had a blast. He collected eggs, made friends with the little ladies, and just had so much fun running around. Yesterday after running errands we just hung out outside for a little bit.
I'm doing great - my surgery is far from daily life and I feel completely back to normal. I still get a twinge of pain in my belly button every so often, but its really nothing. I have so much to do and so much I want to get done these next few months - spring cleaning, gardening, scrapbooking, organization. I need to start a list - everyone loves a list.
And if it matters, I fixed commenting ;)
I took the time to relax on the couch for a bit and play catch up with the DVR when all of the sudden a blood curdling scream broke the silence. It sounded as if something terrible was happening and all I could think to do is scream to Steve "Something's wrong!" and take off to Caden - I don't think I've ever moved quite so fast.
Steve and I bust into Caden's room and he was still screaming, but he was fine. He wasn't caught on anything, he wasn't stuck, just screaming. I pulled him out of his crib and he placed his head on my shoulder and started to calm down. He sobbed a few times and was fine. He never even opened his eyes so I don't know if he was even awake.
I brought him to the living room and cuddled him as he slept on me for a few hours. I watched him breath, move, etc... just to make sure all was okay. We took his temp, everything normal. I can only assume my poor little boy had a terrible nightmare... one that sure scared the hell out of me. He is doing fine today though he did wake with quite the case of morning bed head, hehe. I just wish I knew what scared him so much, but I am glad I was able to make everything okay for him.
Beyond the evening screams, things are rather pleasant around our home. Today we welcome spring while under a winter storm warning, but that isn't all too surprising. I'm quite ready to be done with the snow and cold, though. Signs of spring are all around - the tree in the back yard has started to bud, I believe I saw some of our lilies break the dirt, and the lilac bush Steve gave me for Mother's Day last year has started to bud as well. I'm looking forward to being able to move out doors and work on our spring time projects. Luckily with the addition of the new front porch/patio last summer, there isn't much to do out front except plant some annuals, mulch, etc. The back yard will be our focus this year. We really want to replace the back deck, but I think we'll be keeping most of the big projects on hold for this season - we did a lot last year.
Caden is doing so well - its amazing how much change each day brings. Every morning he wakes up with more hair, new words, new games to play. He loves his legos and he loves playing with Ellie now. He likes to show off for company and run and play. We took him to the Easter egg hunt on Saturday at the park district and he had a blast. He collected eggs, made friends with the little ladies, and just had so much fun running around. Yesterday after running errands we just hung out outside for a little bit.
I'm doing great - my surgery is far from daily life and I feel completely back to normal. I still get a twinge of pain in my belly button every so often, but its really nothing. I have so much to do and so much I want to get done these next few months - spring cleaning, gardening, scrapbooking, organization. I need to start a list - everyone loves a list.
And if it matters, I fixed commenting ;)
Tuesday, March 11, 2008
Random Babble
We're several days into March and I have yet to write an entry. So, that is what I've set out to do today! I really do wish to post here more... At random points throughout the day I have a million thoughts going though my head but unfortunately lack the time to actually sit down and get them out. When the time finally is available, the thoughts are usually long gone and all that remains is an entry about entries or miscellaneous babble.
Caden is finally home with me again during the day - he has been since Friday. Luckily we've been able to pretty much bounce right back into our normal routine. Day light savings messed us up a bit but Caden seems to have adjusted already. Myself on the other hand... I've been up way too late and am pretty sleepy when morning comes. I think tonight I will make it a point to get to bed at a reasonable hour.
It was pretty crazy yesterday to still be so bright out after 6pm - it made the evening hours fly by. I remember setting the clocks back - it seems so long ago. I remember that messed up Caden's afternoon nap. He would cry and be upset when he woke up - I assumed because all of the sudden it was completely dark even though it was light when he went down. Yesterday he was in a bright a cheery mood when he woke up and the sun was still shining.
I was beginning to think Caden was ready to give up a nap when I had my surgery - even though he was exhausted and cranky in the evening if he didn't take two. But he has been napping beautifully since he has been home - 2 naps a day, 1-2 hrs each.
I'm doing well though my belly button still is pretty tender. Well, about an inch to the right of my belly button to be exact. I think this is just something I'm going to have to get used to and it will go away in time. I don't think that picking Caden up is making it worse nor do I think not picking him up will make it any better, so I have no intention to stop. I want to get back into working out again - Tomorrow marks 4 weeks since my surgery. I've decided with the tender belly button to give it until Monday (though I will continue to walk) and to take it slow. The surgeon told me no abdominal exercises until at least 6 weeks so I will hold off on those.
I've lost 3lbs since my surgery - 15lbs in total. This doesn't seem like a lot, but by all logic I should have been gaining weight. That first week home I slipped up and we ate out, and a few times since. I haven't been eating as well at home, and up until Friday my normal everyday activity was way low and working out, other than a walk around the block, was nonexistent. Ever since I had Caden I've always looked a little bit pregnant. More than just fat and pot bellied... I looked permanently bloated.
I was going to wait until next week to step on the scale, but my body just looked and felt different. Still fat, I still have a way to go... but the bloat was gone. I didn't look pregnant in my eyes. My clothes are fitting better. I'm not complaining, I just don't understand it. Since having Caden no matter how much I tried, what I ate, how much I worked out, I wasn't able to drop below a certain number. Today I am finally 2lbs under that number and without trying, without exercising, with eating like crap. It's let me to wonder if maybe my appendix or the infection has played a role in not being able to lose this weight all along. Maybe not directly... but maybe my body dealing with that infection on and off this whole time, my body wasn't able to fully reset itself after pregnancy. I'm excited to get back on track with eating (doing much better here ;) ) and exercising and see what kind of results I am left with now. I thought for sure I would start out after recovering having gained weight - I'm thrilled that I've actually lost.
We’ve started getting in our EOBs.. not too terrible but we have yet to see the big one from the hospital – and that bill before insurance was over $26,000.00. But I’ve got the EOBs for my regular doctors, some lab work, anesthesiologist, radiologist, surgeon… I think its safe to assume I’ll be hitting my out of pocket max for the third year in a row. I still need to go in and have some post-pregnancy issues checked out (long story) and blood tests run, another 24 hour urine collection, etc… so I guess those will be on the house! ;)
Saturday is the big community Easter Egg hunt – we’re so excited to take Caden! I just hope the weather holds out. We’ll be hosting Easter dinner at our house again this year – it will just be a small gathering of my brothers, their families, and my Dad. We invited another side but beyond just decline, the invitation was straight out ignored. Instead we were told of their plans and of course we’re expected to conform to them. We did this for Christmas and it was miserable… we tried to make everyone happy this year but I’m done. I won’t be guilted into giving up my traditions and enjoying the holidays with my husband and my son just to make other people happy – people who think everything is always all about them. No matter how hard we try, it just doesn’t happen. I’ve realized that now and have given up even trying.
So we’ll be celebrating with people who actually wish to be with us and celebrate the holiday together. Saturday Steve and I have a lot to do to prep, cleaning, cooking, and of course we’ll be dying our eggs like we’ve done every year the night before Easter… and like I’ve done every year since I’ve been a little girl. We are going to let Caden try his hand at a few eggs, too. It will most definitely involve the bathtub or a lot of garbage bags… but I think it will be fun :). I’ve started on my little Easter basket favors and just need to work on planning the meal and the miscellaneous details.
My mom was excited to host a big Easter Egg hunt Easter morning, but with her husband’s hospitalization and now recovery we’ll have to wait for next year. Completely understandable! And with a March Easter this year, probably for the best in that respect. I know she was really looking forward to it though. The kids will be older and have even more fun with it next year, too :).
Well, the random babble has continued on long enough for one morning. Caden is fast asleep in his crib and I have some things to pack away in the basement…
Caden is finally home with me again during the day - he has been since Friday. Luckily we've been able to pretty much bounce right back into our normal routine. Day light savings messed us up a bit but Caden seems to have adjusted already. Myself on the other hand... I've been up way too late and am pretty sleepy when morning comes. I think tonight I will make it a point to get to bed at a reasonable hour.
It was pretty crazy yesterday to still be so bright out after 6pm - it made the evening hours fly by. I remember setting the clocks back - it seems so long ago. I remember that messed up Caden's afternoon nap. He would cry and be upset when he woke up - I assumed because all of the sudden it was completely dark even though it was light when he went down. Yesterday he was in a bright a cheery mood when he woke up and the sun was still shining.
I was beginning to think Caden was ready to give up a nap when I had my surgery - even though he was exhausted and cranky in the evening if he didn't take two. But he has been napping beautifully since he has been home - 2 naps a day, 1-2 hrs each.
I'm doing well though my belly button still is pretty tender. Well, about an inch to the right of my belly button to be exact. I think this is just something I'm going to have to get used to and it will go away in time. I don't think that picking Caden up is making it worse nor do I think not picking him up will make it any better, so I have no intention to stop. I want to get back into working out again - Tomorrow marks 4 weeks since my surgery. I've decided with the tender belly button to give it until Monday (though I will continue to walk) and to take it slow. The surgeon told me no abdominal exercises until at least 6 weeks so I will hold off on those.
I've lost 3lbs since my surgery - 15lbs in total. This doesn't seem like a lot, but by all logic I should have been gaining weight. That first week home I slipped up and we ate out, and a few times since. I haven't been eating as well at home, and up until Friday my normal everyday activity was way low and working out, other than a walk around the block, was nonexistent. Ever since I had Caden I've always looked a little bit pregnant. More than just fat and pot bellied... I looked permanently bloated.
I was going to wait until next week to step on the scale, but my body just looked and felt different. Still fat, I still have a way to go... but the bloat was gone. I didn't look pregnant in my eyes. My clothes are fitting better. I'm not complaining, I just don't understand it. Since having Caden no matter how much I tried, what I ate, how much I worked out, I wasn't able to drop below a certain number. Today I am finally 2lbs under that number and without trying, without exercising, with eating like crap. It's let me to wonder if maybe my appendix or the infection has played a role in not being able to lose this weight all along. Maybe not directly... but maybe my body dealing with that infection on and off this whole time, my body wasn't able to fully reset itself after pregnancy. I'm excited to get back on track with eating (doing much better here ;) ) and exercising and see what kind of results I am left with now. I thought for sure I would start out after recovering having gained weight - I'm thrilled that I've actually lost.
We’ve started getting in our EOBs.. not too terrible but we have yet to see the big one from the hospital – and that bill before insurance was over $26,000.00. But I’ve got the EOBs for my regular doctors, some lab work, anesthesiologist, radiologist, surgeon… I think its safe to assume I’ll be hitting my out of pocket max for the third year in a row. I still need to go in and have some post-pregnancy issues checked out (long story) and blood tests run, another 24 hour urine collection, etc… so I guess those will be on the house! ;)
Saturday is the big community Easter Egg hunt – we’re so excited to take Caden! I just hope the weather holds out. We’ll be hosting Easter dinner at our house again this year – it will just be a small gathering of my brothers, their families, and my Dad. We invited another side but beyond just decline, the invitation was straight out ignored. Instead we were told of their plans and of course we’re expected to conform to them. We did this for Christmas and it was miserable… we tried to make everyone happy this year but I’m done. I won’t be guilted into giving up my traditions and enjoying the holidays with my husband and my son just to make other people happy – people who think everything is always all about them. No matter how hard we try, it just doesn’t happen. I’ve realized that now and have given up even trying.
So we’ll be celebrating with people who actually wish to be with us and celebrate the holiday together. Saturday Steve and I have a lot to do to prep, cleaning, cooking, and of course we’ll be dying our eggs like we’ve done every year the night before Easter… and like I’ve done every year since I’ve been a little girl. We are going to let Caden try his hand at a few eggs, too. It will most definitely involve the bathtub or a lot of garbage bags… but I think it will be fun :). I’ve started on my little Easter basket favors and just need to work on planning the meal and the miscellaneous details.
My mom was excited to host a big Easter Egg hunt Easter morning, but with her husband’s hospitalization and now recovery we’ll have to wait for next year. Completely understandable! And with a March Easter this year, probably for the best in that respect. I know she was really looking forward to it though. The kids will be older and have even more fun with it next year, too :).
Well, the random babble has continued on long enough for one morning. Caden is fast asleep in his crib and I have some things to pack away in the basement…
Friday, February 29, 2008
Tearless Onions
This morning I was standing in my kitchen cutting vegetables in preparation for tonight’s dinner (hey, I like to plan ahead). I came to the onion and as I peeled away the layers - I couldn't help but think how people and so many of life's situations are just like the layers of that onion. Haha, okay, I'm just shitting you. I was really thinking how much I hate those little buggars for burning my eyes and how much I'd love to get my hands on one of those new tearless onions I saw on the news a few weeks ago. Its a shame I don't think they are available yet - I would pay extra for one of those. My poor eyes still burn.
Speaking of onions - Last summer Steve and I stopped at a little farm side stand on the way home from a day of shopping and they had the most amazing, juicy onions (Not to mention the sweet corn and tomatoes). Sigh... We got more snow last night and I am truly ready for spring. Super hot summer, not so much, but spring would be nice. And I guess summer, too - I'm can't wait to go to the yummy farm stands and farmers market. I also plan to try my hand at growing my own vegetables but I'm not very optimistic.
The community Easter egg hunt is on the 10th - I hate that Easter is in March this year. I've been excited about this Easter Egg hunt since last year - I think Caden would have SO much fun with it. But, I don't see how well its going to work out with it being held on March 10th - if there isn't snow on the ground then its going to be a muddy mess. Maybe it will be held inside.
Caden has learned a new trick! Yesterday he spent the day at Grandma L's since I still cannot pick him up. Grandma wasn't doing a very good job watching him (heh... you know I'm kidding, Mom! ;) ) and managed to lose my dear boy. When she called out for him she heard a giggle from above and there was Caden... he had scaled a flight a stairs and was standing at the 2nd floor landing looking into the living room below. My Mom is so good with him and I've learned so much from her. In a few hours instead of just teaching him he wasn't supposed to climb the stairs, she also taught him how to safely climb back down.
I've suspected Caden has been able to climb stairs for a while, but since he doesn't have access to stairs in our house, we never quite knew for sure. Last weekend Steve and I did manage to find him on the couch bouncing happily as he looked out the bay window. He is a brave little man - but as Grandma says, he really has no fear which isn't necessarily a good thing.
I'm so excited to have my little guy home hopefully mid/end of next week. We still need to get his 1 year photos taken so I'll have to see if Grandma wants to help me with that.
Otherwise, not much going on. I'm able to drive again (as long as I don't take any pain killers) and I got to pick up Caden last night (Papa Chuck put Caden in his car seat and Grandma C got him out). It was nice to get to pick him up and watch him play. Caden loves his toys and he even enjoys picking them up afterwards, hehe. I have a cute video of him carefully placing his blocks back in his bucket I'll post later. He is doing so well - especially with his motor skills. He has several new words now - among them are doggy and kitty. He is such a silly, fun little guy. I love him so much! This morning before Daddy took him to Grandma C's for the day Steve brought him into bed with me so I could say goodbye and we just laid and cuddled and talked to each other. I miss him. I did try to pick him up yesterday and it hurt a bit so I know I need to give it a little more time. I sit and hold him on the floor - but its just not the same.
Last night MIL/Grandma C was here helping me with Caden since Steve had to work late. We took a quick trip to The Scrap Shack - an adorable little scrapbooking/cardmaking store. Even though its only a few minutes from my house I have never been and now I realize that was probably a good thing! They have SO many adorable papers I've never seen before - they even had dinosaur papers so I had to stock up on a few. I also got papers to scrap Caden's photos with Santa that are still on our fridge so I think I'll work on that this weekend. The pricing is a little more expensive than some of the mainstream stores - but they had a really nice selection and a lot of things I haven't seen elsewhere.
Well this entry is already all over the place and probably sounds terrible since I have no desire to proof read, so I guess I’ll wrap it up. I hope everyone has a fantastic weekend!! I get to spend all of mine with my pook and my husband, so I know it will be great :)
Speaking of onions - Last summer Steve and I stopped at a little farm side stand on the way home from a day of shopping and they had the most amazing, juicy onions (Not to mention the sweet corn and tomatoes). Sigh... We got more snow last night and I am truly ready for spring. Super hot summer, not so much, but spring would be nice. And I guess summer, too - I'm can't wait to go to the yummy farm stands and farmers market. I also plan to try my hand at growing my own vegetables but I'm not very optimistic.
The community Easter egg hunt is on the 10th - I hate that Easter is in March this year. I've been excited about this Easter Egg hunt since last year - I think Caden would have SO much fun with it. But, I don't see how well its going to work out with it being held on March 10th - if there isn't snow on the ground then its going to be a muddy mess. Maybe it will be held inside.
Caden has learned a new trick! Yesterday he spent the day at Grandma L's since I still cannot pick him up. Grandma wasn't doing a very good job watching him (heh... you know I'm kidding, Mom! ;) ) and managed to lose my dear boy. When she called out for him she heard a giggle from above and there was Caden... he had scaled a flight a stairs and was standing at the 2nd floor landing looking into the living room below. My Mom is so good with him and I've learned so much from her. In a few hours instead of just teaching him he wasn't supposed to climb the stairs, she also taught him how to safely climb back down.
I've suspected Caden has been able to climb stairs for a while, but since he doesn't have access to stairs in our house, we never quite knew for sure. Last weekend Steve and I did manage to find him on the couch bouncing happily as he looked out the bay window. He is a brave little man - but as Grandma says, he really has no fear which isn't necessarily a good thing.
I'm so excited to have my little guy home hopefully mid/end of next week. We still need to get his 1 year photos taken so I'll have to see if Grandma wants to help me with that.
Otherwise, not much going on. I'm able to drive again (as long as I don't take any pain killers) and I got to pick up Caden last night (Papa Chuck put Caden in his car seat and Grandma C got him out). It was nice to get to pick him up and watch him play. Caden loves his toys and he even enjoys picking them up afterwards, hehe. I have a cute video of him carefully placing his blocks back in his bucket I'll post later. He is doing so well - especially with his motor skills. He has several new words now - among them are doggy and kitty. He is such a silly, fun little guy. I love him so much! This morning before Daddy took him to Grandma C's for the day Steve brought him into bed with me so I could say goodbye and we just laid and cuddled and talked to each other. I miss him. I did try to pick him up yesterday and it hurt a bit so I know I need to give it a little more time. I sit and hold him on the floor - but its just not the same.
Last night MIL/Grandma C was here helping me with Caden since Steve had to work late. We took a quick trip to The Scrap Shack - an adorable little scrapbooking/cardmaking store. Even though its only a few minutes from my house I have never been and now I realize that was probably a good thing! They have SO many adorable papers I've never seen before - they even had dinosaur papers so I had to stock up on a few. I also got papers to scrap Caden's photos with Santa that are still on our fridge so I think I'll work on that this weekend. The pricing is a little more expensive than some of the mainstream stores - but they had a really nice selection and a lot of things I haven't seen elsewhere.
Well this entry is already all over the place and probably sounds terrible since I have no desire to proof read, so I guess I’ll wrap it up. I hope everyone has a fantastic weekend!! I get to spend all of mine with my pook and my husband, so I know it will be great :)
Thursday, February 28, 2008
Yesterday, Today, Tomorrow
Yesterday morning I had my post-op follow up. As expected, the surgeon was short and to the point and still lacking any personal charm - but she saved something very important to me so whatever floats her unfriendly boat is fine by me! I'm healing nicely, a biopsy was done on my appendix and came back clean (other than a pretty serious infection), and I'm doing well on the road to recovery. I was told to give it at the very least one more week before I start picking up Caden again and at that point only pick him up if I have to and if it hurts, obviously stop. I can start walking for exercise but ease into it, no abdominal exercises for several weeks and I still need to rest and take it easy.
I've felt like a bit of a sissy because I'm still in pain on and off - I don't remember being in this kind of pain 2 weeks after my c-section. The nurses in the hospital said that while the incisions are smaller, the surgery was still major and more involved than a c-section. Yesterday I was told that my appendix was in pretty bad shape and it is completely normal (and very non-sissy like) to still be in pain.
I found out that my appendix was "hot" - meaning it would have ruptured within 24 hours. I asked why I wasn't in pain as I would have expected with an appendix in that bad of shape. As it turns out, my appendix was located very low in my pelvis giving it some protection. The surgeon said it isn't all that uncommon in women to have their appendix located that low. And then she delivered the blow, the bit of information I've had in the back of my head the last 24 hours.
Had my appendix ruptured... Had I waited another day to be seen by a doctor... Not only could I have died, but most likely I would have lost the ability to ever have another child due to where my appendix was sitting in my body.
24 hours. Max. Thats how close I was to never carrying another child. To never even having the option.
In her pre-surgery rush, the surgeon said something about the amount of inflammation even affecting my fertility. Which is why I was so pissed that the surgeon never elaborated on that post-op until yesterday. For 2 weeks I've been sitting here worried that my fertility was affected - it terrified me, which is why I haven't wrote about it and why I haven't said anything. I had nothing to say until I knew.
The good news is that this should not affect my fertility. My appendix was removed, it didn't rupture, and the inflammation didn't affect my reproductive organs. The surgeon said I should have no problem having another child (granted there is nothing unrelated going on).
I can't help but think about the hours before my surgery - the hour before the CT to be exact. In order to avoid the barium enema, I opted to walk around the hospital with my lovely cocktail. Steve and I spent that hour talking about when to try for our next child, weighing the pros and cons of each month and deciding on a tentative date to start trying to conceive. We walked and talked unaware of the ticking time bomb in my pelvis that almost took away any chance to ever conceive another child.
Before I got pregnant with Caden I worried that I wouldn't be able to have a child, but I think that is a common fear. After I took that pregnancy test a wave of relief passed over me. I always assumed I'd not worry about it again, but after I had Caden that familiar fear of "what if I can't have another" came. While that thought is there, it is just a thought. And until all of this, I never truly realized just how much I, and so many others, take our fertility for granted.
I am just so grateful that in my case, this is all just a scenario. Luckily its only a "what if I didn't see a doctor as I decided not to do so many times before". I debated for hours on going to the doctor this time - but I did go, and I am only left with what if. And I am so thankful for that.
Since my surgery Steve and I have visited the thought of trying for our second briefly, some days I think lets stick with the original plan, in others I think lets wait longer (we're not trying now or in the immediate future). The new round of hospital bills obviously factor into things, but more so its the thought of health. I'm terrified of another complicated pregnancy, of another 4 months of bed rest. I've had a hard enough time being away from Caden during the day for the past 2 weeks. Then there is the issue of just being healthy - for the first time in seven years I don't have to worry about those stomach aches, I don't have to worry about another flare up. And I really just get to be healthy. And I wouldn't mind enjoying that for a while.
But then there is the news yesterday, and learning that our decisions of future children were almost decided for us. And the reminder that nothing is promised, not even tomorrow... no matter how much we plan or discuss, anything can happen.
What I know, and Steve knows, and we've known all along - is that when the time is right we'll know. A decision doesn't have to be made today, we don't have to stick with what we decided yesterday, and tomorrow anything can happen.
In a previous entry I mentioned one of my 2008 resolutions. Another one was to stop planning and start living in today, each day and every day. I know that isn't entirely possible, not to plan at all, but we can all stand to live a little more for today. After all - yesterday is gone, tomorrow isn't promised, and all we really have is now.
I've felt like a bit of a sissy because I'm still in pain on and off - I don't remember being in this kind of pain 2 weeks after my c-section. The nurses in the hospital said that while the incisions are smaller, the surgery was still major and more involved than a c-section. Yesterday I was told that my appendix was in pretty bad shape and it is completely normal (and very non-sissy like) to still be in pain.
I found out that my appendix was "hot" - meaning it would have ruptured within 24 hours. I asked why I wasn't in pain as I would have expected with an appendix in that bad of shape. As it turns out, my appendix was located very low in my pelvis giving it some protection. The surgeon said it isn't all that uncommon in women to have their appendix located that low. And then she delivered the blow, the bit of information I've had in the back of my head the last 24 hours.
Had my appendix ruptured... Had I waited another day to be seen by a doctor... Not only could I have died, but most likely I would have lost the ability to ever have another child due to where my appendix was sitting in my body.
24 hours. Max. Thats how close I was to never carrying another child. To never even having the option.
In her pre-surgery rush, the surgeon said something about the amount of inflammation even affecting my fertility. Which is why I was so pissed that the surgeon never elaborated on that post-op until yesterday. For 2 weeks I've been sitting here worried that my fertility was affected - it terrified me, which is why I haven't wrote about it and why I haven't said anything. I had nothing to say until I knew.
The good news is that this should not affect my fertility. My appendix was removed, it didn't rupture, and the inflammation didn't affect my reproductive organs. The surgeon said I should have no problem having another child (granted there is nothing unrelated going on).
I can't help but think about the hours before my surgery - the hour before the CT to be exact. In order to avoid the barium enema, I opted to walk around the hospital with my lovely cocktail. Steve and I spent that hour talking about when to try for our next child, weighing the pros and cons of each month and deciding on a tentative date to start trying to conceive. We walked and talked unaware of the ticking time bomb in my pelvis that almost took away any chance to ever conceive another child.
Before I got pregnant with Caden I worried that I wouldn't be able to have a child, but I think that is a common fear. After I took that pregnancy test a wave of relief passed over me. I always assumed I'd not worry about it again, but after I had Caden that familiar fear of "what if I can't have another" came. While that thought is there, it is just a thought. And until all of this, I never truly realized just how much I, and so many others, take our fertility for granted.
I am just so grateful that in my case, this is all just a scenario. Luckily its only a "what if I didn't see a doctor as I decided not to do so many times before". I debated for hours on going to the doctor this time - but I did go, and I am only left with what if. And I am so thankful for that.
Since my surgery Steve and I have visited the thought of trying for our second briefly, some days I think lets stick with the original plan, in others I think lets wait longer (we're not trying now or in the immediate future). The new round of hospital bills obviously factor into things, but more so its the thought of health. I'm terrified of another complicated pregnancy, of another 4 months of bed rest. I've had a hard enough time being away from Caden during the day for the past 2 weeks. Then there is the issue of just being healthy - for the first time in seven years I don't have to worry about those stomach aches, I don't have to worry about another flare up. And I really just get to be healthy. And I wouldn't mind enjoying that for a while.
But then there is the news yesterday, and learning that our decisions of future children were almost decided for us. And the reminder that nothing is promised, not even tomorrow... no matter how much we plan or discuss, anything can happen.
What I know, and Steve knows, and we've known all along - is that when the time is right we'll know. A decision doesn't have to be made today, we don't have to stick with what we decided yesterday, and tomorrow anything can happen.
In a previous entry I mentioned one of my 2008 resolutions. Another one was to stop planning and start living in today, each day and every day. I know that isn't entirely possible, not to plan at all, but we can all stand to live a little more for today. After all - yesterday is gone, tomorrow isn't promised, and all we really have is now.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)