Most days it feels like we've been together so much longer than five years. Five years isn't long in the grand scheme of things, but it makes sense though when those five years are out of only 25, and encompass the majority of your adult life thus far. So it caught me off guard when I woke up yesterday and two years had officially passed since our wedding day - April 29, 2006 was two years gone in memory.
I can still remember every detail so well; I can remember everything as if today were April 30, 2006. The piece of pie Charlie insisted I try in the late hours of the night of April 28th, waking up and getting in the shower, the drive to the hair salon, waiting on the staircase of Baker Memorial as the processional music started to play, seeing my soon to be husband for the first time. I can remember the smell of the breeze ways of our honeymoon resort, the sound of the ocean and the palm trees, the pure and utter bliss of the following weeks, the floating on clouds feeling.. well, before morning sickness set in ;).
It feels like ages ago that Steve was my fiancé, yet it feels like yesterday he became my husband. Even now I still sometimes crack a smile when I hear husband, wife, Mrs.
I was caught off guard yesterday when I noticed a slight anxiety in the air. How could two years have already passed in mere moments? Just last week I finally arranged several of our wedding keepsakes in shadowboxes, just last month I finally found a place for a trinket we bought on our honeymoon, just the other day I finally placed a photo in one of the frames we bought in Playa Del Carmen. I haven't even started our scrapbooks, how can 2 years have come and gone?
We've now been married longer than we were engaged - and the past two years have been quite the amazing whirlwind. Really, the past five years. We've come so far and accomplished so much, but it is all still going by so quickly. My baby is already 15 months, a toddler. The past two years have been wonderful, and they always say time flies when you're having fun.
Its crazy to look back at the past several years of my life. 2002 I moved into my own apartment at College, 2003 I met Steve, fell in love, and we moved in together. 2004 brought our engagement, 2005 the purchase of our first home and the bulk of planning our wedding. In 2006 we were married and became pregnant with our first child, 2007 brought the birth of our little boy. I love being here in 2008, with nothing huge and monumental going on, enjoying life, being our little family of three. I am so excited to see what 2008, 2009 brings... 2010, 2011, 2012.. 2030...
We had a nice anniversary. Steve brought me a dozen red roses and white hydrangea... On the morning of our wedding he sent me a dozen red and white roses so red and white only seemed fitting. We had a quiet evening, we "celebrated" over the weekend though most wouldn't consider what we did celebrating - it was perfect. The traditional second wedding anniversary gift is cotton so we bought one big gift for each other - new bedding! It is beautiful, soft, perfect. This of course led to a complete remodel of or bedroom and thats what we worked on this weekend. Our bedroom prior was less than inviting and not very welcoming. The walls are now a pale blue, cream bedding, very spa/beach feeling - Our honeymoon was amazingly perfect and I took inspiration for the room from that. We hung shelves to place some wedding keepsakes on, carefully placed in shadow boxes. Dried flowers, our invitation... I love our bedroom and it is perfect! I couldn't imagine a better anniversary gift. Before I had no desire to be in that room, now I want to spend all our time in there. It was a chance to do something for just us, something we haven’t done in a long time.
I don't know what tomorrow brings. I'm not sure what the future holds, but I am so grateful for all I have, for all I've been given. For my husband, my son, my family. My past, my memories, the last 25+ years. For tomorrow, for next week… even though its not promised.
So here’s to two beautiful years, and the anticipation of so many more.
Wednesday, April 30, 2008
Thursday, March 20, 2008
Screams and Spring
About an hour after Caden went to bed last night the house was calm - Steve decided to put the last of the latches on a few of the cabinets we missed - nothing dangerous in them, just annoying when Caden constantly wants to pull out all the cat food and stack the cans.
I took the time to relax on the couch for a bit and play catch up with the DVR when all of the sudden a blood curdling scream broke the silence. It sounded as if something terrible was happening and all I could think to do is scream to Steve "Something's wrong!" and take off to Caden - I don't think I've ever moved quite so fast.
Steve and I bust into Caden's room and he was still screaming, but he was fine. He wasn't caught on anything, he wasn't stuck, just screaming. I pulled him out of his crib and he placed his head on my shoulder and started to calm down. He sobbed a few times and was fine. He never even opened his eyes so I don't know if he was even awake.
I brought him to the living room and cuddled him as he slept on me for a few hours. I watched him breath, move, etc... just to make sure all was okay. We took his temp, everything normal. I can only assume my poor little boy had a terrible nightmare... one that sure scared the hell out of me. He is doing fine today though he did wake with quite the case of morning bed head, hehe. I just wish I knew what scared him so much, but I am glad I was able to make everything okay for him.
Beyond the evening screams, things are rather pleasant around our home. Today we welcome spring while under a winter storm warning, but that isn't all too surprising. I'm quite ready to be done with the snow and cold, though. Signs of spring are all around - the tree in the back yard has started to bud, I believe I saw some of our lilies break the dirt, and the lilac bush Steve gave me for Mother's Day last year has started to bud as well. I'm looking forward to being able to move out doors and work on our spring time projects. Luckily with the addition of the new front porch/patio last summer, there isn't much to do out front except plant some annuals, mulch, etc. The back yard will be our focus this year. We really want to replace the back deck, but I think we'll be keeping most of the big projects on hold for this season - we did a lot last year.
Caden is doing so well - its amazing how much change each day brings. Every morning he wakes up with more hair, new words, new games to play. He loves his legos and he loves playing with Ellie now. He likes to show off for company and run and play. We took him to the Easter egg hunt on Saturday at the park district and he had a blast. He collected eggs, made friends with the little ladies, and just had so much fun running around. Yesterday after running errands we just hung out outside for a little bit.
I'm doing great - my surgery is far from daily life and I feel completely back to normal. I still get a twinge of pain in my belly button every so often, but its really nothing. I have so much to do and so much I want to get done these next few months - spring cleaning, gardening, scrapbooking, organization. I need to start a list - everyone loves a list.
And if it matters, I fixed commenting ;)
I took the time to relax on the couch for a bit and play catch up with the DVR when all of the sudden a blood curdling scream broke the silence. It sounded as if something terrible was happening and all I could think to do is scream to Steve "Something's wrong!" and take off to Caden - I don't think I've ever moved quite so fast.
Steve and I bust into Caden's room and he was still screaming, but he was fine. He wasn't caught on anything, he wasn't stuck, just screaming. I pulled him out of his crib and he placed his head on my shoulder and started to calm down. He sobbed a few times and was fine. He never even opened his eyes so I don't know if he was even awake.
I brought him to the living room and cuddled him as he slept on me for a few hours. I watched him breath, move, etc... just to make sure all was okay. We took his temp, everything normal. I can only assume my poor little boy had a terrible nightmare... one that sure scared the hell out of me. He is doing fine today though he did wake with quite the case of morning bed head, hehe. I just wish I knew what scared him so much, but I am glad I was able to make everything okay for him.
Beyond the evening screams, things are rather pleasant around our home. Today we welcome spring while under a winter storm warning, but that isn't all too surprising. I'm quite ready to be done with the snow and cold, though. Signs of spring are all around - the tree in the back yard has started to bud, I believe I saw some of our lilies break the dirt, and the lilac bush Steve gave me for Mother's Day last year has started to bud as well. I'm looking forward to being able to move out doors and work on our spring time projects. Luckily with the addition of the new front porch/patio last summer, there isn't much to do out front except plant some annuals, mulch, etc. The back yard will be our focus this year. We really want to replace the back deck, but I think we'll be keeping most of the big projects on hold for this season - we did a lot last year.
Caden is doing so well - its amazing how much change each day brings. Every morning he wakes up with more hair, new words, new games to play. He loves his legos and he loves playing with Ellie now. He likes to show off for company and run and play. We took him to the Easter egg hunt on Saturday at the park district and he had a blast. He collected eggs, made friends with the little ladies, and just had so much fun running around. Yesterday after running errands we just hung out outside for a little bit.
I'm doing great - my surgery is far from daily life and I feel completely back to normal. I still get a twinge of pain in my belly button every so often, but its really nothing. I have so much to do and so much I want to get done these next few months - spring cleaning, gardening, scrapbooking, organization. I need to start a list - everyone loves a list.
And if it matters, I fixed commenting ;)
Tuesday, March 11, 2008
Random Babble
We're several days into March and I have yet to write an entry. So, that is what I've set out to do today! I really do wish to post here more... At random points throughout the day I have a million thoughts going though my head but unfortunately lack the time to actually sit down and get them out. When the time finally is available, the thoughts are usually long gone and all that remains is an entry about entries or miscellaneous babble.
Caden is finally home with me again during the day - he has been since Friday. Luckily we've been able to pretty much bounce right back into our normal routine. Day light savings messed us up a bit but Caden seems to have adjusted already. Myself on the other hand... I've been up way too late and am pretty sleepy when morning comes. I think tonight I will make it a point to get to bed at a reasonable hour.
It was pretty crazy yesterday to still be so bright out after 6pm - it made the evening hours fly by. I remember setting the clocks back - it seems so long ago. I remember that messed up Caden's afternoon nap. He would cry and be upset when he woke up - I assumed because all of the sudden it was completely dark even though it was light when he went down. Yesterday he was in a bright a cheery mood when he woke up and the sun was still shining.
I was beginning to think Caden was ready to give up a nap when I had my surgery - even though he was exhausted and cranky in the evening if he didn't take two. But he has been napping beautifully since he has been home - 2 naps a day, 1-2 hrs each.
I'm doing well though my belly button still is pretty tender. Well, about an inch to the right of my belly button to be exact. I think this is just something I'm going to have to get used to and it will go away in time. I don't think that picking Caden up is making it worse nor do I think not picking him up will make it any better, so I have no intention to stop. I want to get back into working out again - Tomorrow marks 4 weeks since my surgery. I've decided with the tender belly button to give it until Monday (though I will continue to walk) and to take it slow. The surgeon told me no abdominal exercises until at least 6 weeks so I will hold off on those.
I've lost 3lbs since my surgery - 15lbs in total. This doesn't seem like a lot, but by all logic I should have been gaining weight. That first week home I slipped up and we ate out, and a few times since. I haven't been eating as well at home, and up until Friday my normal everyday activity was way low and working out, other than a walk around the block, was nonexistent. Ever since I had Caden I've always looked a little bit pregnant. More than just fat and pot bellied... I looked permanently bloated.
I was going to wait until next week to step on the scale, but my body just looked and felt different. Still fat, I still have a way to go... but the bloat was gone. I didn't look pregnant in my eyes. My clothes are fitting better. I'm not complaining, I just don't understand it. Since having Caden no matter how much I tried, what I ate, how much I worked out, I wasn't able to drop below a certain number. Today I am finally 2lbs under that number and without trying, without exercising, with eating like crap. It's let me to wonder if maybe my appendix or the infection has played a role in not being able to lose this weight all along. Maybe not directly... but maybe my body dealing with that infection on and off this whole time, my body wasn't able to fully reset itself after pregnancy. I'm excited to get back on track with eating (doing much better here ;) ) and exercising and see what kind of results I am left with now. I thought for sure I would start out after recovering having gained weight - I'm thrilled that I've actually lost.
We’ve started getting in our EOBs.. not too terrible but we have yet to see the big one from the hospital – and that bill before insurance was over $26,000.00. But I’ve got the EOBs for my regular doctors, some lab work, anesthesiologist, radiologist, surgeon… I think its safe to assume I’ll be hitting my out of pocket max for the third year in a row. I still need to go in and have some post-pregnancy issues checked out (long story) and blood tests run, another 24 hour urine collection, etc… so I guess those will be on the house! ;)
Saturday is the big community Easter Egg hunt – we’re so excited to take Caden! I just hope the weather holds out. We’ll be hosting Easter dinner at our house again this year – it will just be a small gathering of my brothers, their families, and my Dad. We invited another side but beyond just decline, the invitation was straight out ignored. Instead we were told of their plans and of course we’re expected to conform to them. We did this for Christmas and it was miserable… we tried to make everyone happy this year but I’m done. I won’t be guilted into giving up my traditions and enjoying the holidays with my husband and my son just to make other people happy – people who think everything is always all about them. No matter how hard we try, it just doesn’t happen. I’ve realized that now and have given up even trying.
So we’ll be celebrating with people who actually wish to be with us and celebrate the holiday together. Saturday Steve and I have a lot to do to prep, cleaning, cooking, and of course we’ll be dying our eggs like we’ve done every year the night before Easter… and like I’ve done every year since I’ve been a little girl. We are going to let Caden try his hand at a few eggs, too. It will most definitely involve the bathtub or a lot of garbage bags… but I think it will be fun :). I’ve started on my little Easter basket favors and just need to work on planning the meal and the miscellaneous details.
My mom was excited to host a big Easter Egg hunt Easter morning, but with her husband’s hospitalization and now recovery we’ll have to wait for next year. Completely understandable! And with a March Easter this year, probably for the best in that respect. I know she was really looking forward to it though. The kids will be older and have even more fun with it next year, too :).
Well, the random babble has continued on long enough for one morning. Caden is fast asleep in his crib and I have some things to pack away in the basement…
Caden is finally home with me again during the day - he has been since Friday. Luckily we've been able to pretty much bounce right back into our normal routine. Day light savings messed us up a bit but Caden seems to have adjusted already. Myself on the other hand... I've been up way too late and am pretty sleepy when morning comes. I think tonight I will make it a point to get to bed at a reasonable hour.
It was pretty crazy yesterday to still be so bright out after 6pm - it made the evening hours fly by. I remember setting the clocks back - it seems so long ago. I remember that messed up Caden's afternoon nap. He would cry and be upset when he woke up - I assumed because all of the sudden it was completely dark even though it was light when he went down. Yesterday he was in a bright a cheery mood when he woke up and the sun was still shining.
I was beginning to think Caden was ready to give up a nap when I had my surgery - even though he was exhausted and cranky in the evening if he didn't take two. But he has been napping beautifully since he has been home - 2 naps a day, 1-2 hrs each.
I'm doing well though my belly button still is pretty tender. Well, about an inch to the right of my belly button to be exact. I think this is just something I'm going to have to get used to and it will go away in time. I don't think that picking Caden up is making it worse nor do I think not picking him up will make it any better, so I have no intention to stop. I want to get back into working out again - Tomorrow marks 4 weeks since my surgery. I've decided with the tender belly button to give it until Monday (though I will continue to walk) and to take it slow. The surgeon told me no abdominal exercises until at least 6 weeks so I will hold off on those.
I've lost 3lbs since my surgery - 15lbs in total. This doesn't seem like a lot, but by all logic I should have been gaining weight. That first week home I slipped up and we ate out, and a few times since. I haven't been eating as well at home, and up until Friday my normal everyday activity was way low and working out, other than a walk around the block, was nonexistent. Ever since I had Caden I've always looked a little bit pregnant. More than just fat and pot bellied... I looked permanently bloated.
I was going to wait until next week to step on the scale, but my body just looked and felt different. Still fat, I still have a way to go... but the bloat was gone. I didn't look pregnant in my eyes. My clothes are fitting better. I'm not complaining, I just don't understand it. Since having Caden no matter how much I tried, what I ate, how much I worked out, I wasn't able to drop below a certain number. Today I am finally 2lbs under that number and without trying, without exercising, with eating like crap. It's let me to wonder if maybe my appendix or the infection has played a role in not being able to lose this weight all along. Maybe not directly... but maybe my body dealing with that infection on and off this whole time, my body wasn't able to fully reset itself after pregnancy. I'm excited to get back on track with eating (doing much better here ;) ) and exercising and see what kind of results I am left with now. I thought for sure I would start out after recovering having gained weight - I'm thrilled that I've actually lost.
We’ve started getting in our EOBs.. not too terrible but we have yet to see the big one from the hospital – and that bill before insurance was over $26,000.00. But I’ve got the EOBs for my regular doctors, some lab work, anesthesiologist, radiologist, surgeon… I think its safe to assume I’ll be hitting my out of pocket max for the third year in a row. I still need to go in and have some post-pregnancy issues checked out (long story) and blood tests run, another 24 hour urine collection, etc… so I guess those will be on the house! ;)
Saturday is the big community Easter Egg hunt – we’re so excited to take Caden! I just hope the weather holds out. We’ll be hosting Easter dinner at our house again this year – it will just be a small gathering of my brothers, their families, and my Dad. We invited another side but beyond just decline, the invitation was straight out ignored. Instead we were told of their plans and of course we’re expected to conform to them. We did this for Christmas and it was miserable… we tried to make everyone happy this year but I’m done. I won’t be guilted into giving up my traditions and enjoying the holidays with my husband and my son just to make other people happy – people who think everything is always all about them. No matter how hard we try, it just doesn’t happen. I’ve realized that now and have given up even trying.
So we’ll be celebrating with people who actually wish to be with us and celebrate the holiday together. Saturday Steve and I have a lot to do to prep, cleaning, cooking, and of course we’ll be dying our eggs like we’ve done every year the night before Easter… and like I’ve done every year since I’ve been a little girl. We are going to let Caden try his hand at a few eggs, too. It will most definitely involve the bathtub or a lot of garbage bags… but I think it will be fun :). I’ve started on my little Easter basket favors and just need to work on planning the meal and the miscellaneous details.
My mom was excited to host a big Easter Egg hunt Easter morning, but with her husband’s hospitalization and now recovery we’ll have to wait for next year. Completely understandable! And with a March Easter this year, probably for the best in that respect. I know she was really looking forward to it though. The kids will be older and have even more fun with it next year, too :).
Well, the random babble has continued on long enough for one morning. Caden is fast asleep in his crib and I have some things to pack away in the basement…
Friday, February 29, 2008
Tearless Onions
This morning I was standing in my kitchen cutting vegetables in preparation for tonight’s dinner (hey, I like to plan ahead). I came to the onion and as I peeled away the layers - I couldn't help but think how people and so many of life's situations are just like the layers of that onion. Haha, okay, I'm just shitting you. I was really thinking how much I hate those little buggars for burning my eyes and how much I'd love to get my hands on one of those new tearless onions I saw on the news a few weeks ago. Its a shame I don't think they are available yet - I would pay extra for one of those. My poor eyes still burn.
Speaking of onions - Last summer Steve and I stopped at a little farm side stand on the way home from a day of shopping and they had the most amazing, juicy onions (Not to mention the sweet corn and tomatoes). Sigh... We got more snow last night and I am truly ready for spring. Super hot summer, not so much, but spring would be nice. And I guess summer, too - I'm can't wait to go to the yummy farm stands and farmers market. I also plan to try my hand at growing my own vegetables but I'm not very optimistic.
The community Easter egg hunt is on the 10th - I hate that Easter is in March this year. I've been excited about this Easter Egg hunt since last year - I think Caden would have SO much fun with it. But, I don't see how well its going to work out with it being held on March 10th - if there isn't snow on the ground then its going to be a muddy mess. Maybe it will be held inside.
Caden has learned a new trick! Yesterday he spent the day at Grandma L's since I still cannot pick him up. Grandma wasn't doing a very good job watching him (heh... you know I'm kidding, Mom! ;) ) and managed to lose my dear boy. When she called out for him she heard a giggle from above and there was Caden... he had scaled a flight a stairs and was standing at the 2nd floor landing looking into the living room below. My Mom is so good with him and I've learned so much from her. In a few hours instead of just teaching him he wasn't supposed to climb the stairs, she also taught him how to safely climb back down.
I've suspected Caden has been able to climb stairs for a while, but since he doesn't have access to stairs in our house, we never quite knew for sure. Last weekend Steve and I did manage to find him on the couch bouncing happily as he looked out the bay window. He is a brave little man - but as Grandma says, he really has no fear which isn't necessarily a good thing.
I'm so excited to have my little guy home hopefully mid/end of next week. We still need to get his 1 year photos taken so I'll have to see if Grandma wants to help me with that.
Otherwise, not much going on. I'm able to drive again (as long as I don't take any pain killers) and I got to pick up Caden last night (Papa Chuck put Caden in his car seat and Grandma C got him out). It was nice to get to pick him up and watch him play. Caden loves his toys and he even enjoys picking them up afterwards, hehe. I have a cute video of him carefully placing his blocks back in his bucket I'll post later. He is doing so well - especially with his motor skills. He has several new words now - among them are doggy and kitty. He is such a silly, fun little guy. I love him so much! This morning before Daddy took him to Grandma C's for the day Steve brought him into bed with me so I could say goodbye and we just laid and cuddled and talked to each other. I miss him. I did try to pick him up yesterday and it hurt a bit so I know I need to give it a little more time. I sit and hold him on the floor - but its just not the same.
Last night MIL/Grandma C was here helping me with Caden since Steve had to work late. We took a quick trip to The Scrap Shack - an adorable little scrapbooking/cardmaking store. Even though its only a few minutes from my house I have never been and now I realize that was probably a good thing! They have SO many adorable papers I've never seen before - they even had dinosaur papers so I had to stock up on a few. I also got papers to scrap Caden's photos with Santa that are still on our fridge so I think I'll work on that this weekend. The pricing is a little more expensive than some of the mainstream stores - but they had a really nice selection and a lot of things I haven't seen elsewhere.
Well this entry is already all over the place and probably sounds terrible since I have no desire to proof read, so I guess I’ll wrap it up. I hope everyone has a fantastic weekend!! I get to spend all of mine with my pook and my husband, so I know it will be great :)
Speaking of onions - Last summer Steve and I stopped at a little farm side stand on the way home from a day of shopping and they had the most amazing, juicy onions (Not to mention the sweet corn and tomatoes). Sigh... We got more snow last night and I am truly ready for spring. Super hot summer, not so much, but spring would be nice. And I guess summer, too - I'm can't wait to go to the yummy farm stands and farmers market. I also plan to try my hand at growing my own vegetables but I'm not very optimistic.
The community Easter egg hunt is on the 10th - I hate that Easter is in March this year. I've been excited about this Easter Egg hunt since last year - I think Caden would have SO much fun with it. But, I don't see how well its going to work out with it being held on March 10th - if there isn't snow on the ground then its going to be a muddy mess. Maybe it will be held inside.
Caden has learned a new trick! Yesterday he spent the day at Grandma L's since I still cannot pick him up. Grandma wasn't doing a very good job watching him (heh... you know I'm kidding, Mom! ;) ) and managed to lose my dear boy. When she called out for him she heard a giggle from above and there was Caden... he had scaled a flight a stairs and was standing at the 2nd floor landing looking into the living room below. My Mom is so good with him and I've learned so much from her. In a few hours instead of just teaching him he wasn't supposed to climb the stairs, she also taught him how to safely climb back down.
I've suspected Caden has been able to climb stairs for a while, but since he doesn't have access to stairs in our house, we never quite knew for sure. Last weekend Steve and I did manage to find him on the couch bouncing happily as he looked out the bay window. He is a brave little man - but as Grandma says, he really has no fear which isn't necessarily a good thing.
I'm so excited to have my little guy home hopefully mid/end of next week. We still need to get his 1 year photos taken so I'll have to see if Grandma wants to help me with that.
Otherwise, not much going on. I'm able to drive again (as long as I don't take any pain killers) and I got to pick up Caden last night (Papa Chuck put Caden in his car seat and Grandma C got him out). It was nice to get to pick him up and watch him play. Caden loves his toys and he even enjoys picking them up afterwards, hehe. I have a cute video of him carefully placing his blocks back in his bucket I'll post later. He is doing so well - especially with his motor skills. He has several new words now - among them are doggy and kitty. He is such a silly, fun little guy. I love him so much! This morning before Daddy took him to Grandma C's for the day Steve brought him into bed with me so I could say goodbye and we just laid and cuddled and talked to each other. I miss him. I did try to pick him up yesterday and it hurt a bit so I know I need to give it a little more time. I sit and hold him on the floor - but its just not the same.
Last night MIL/Grandma C was here helping me with Caden since Steve had to work late. We took a quick trip to The Scrap Shack - an adorable little scrapbooking/cardmaking store. Even though its only a few minutes from my house I have never been and now I realize that was probably a good thing! They have SO many adorable papers I've never seen before - they even had dinosaur papers so I had to stock up on a few. I also got papers to scrap Caden's photos with Santa that are still on our fridge so I think I'll work on that this weekend. The pricing is a little more expensive than some of the mainstream stores - but they had a really nice selection and a lot of things I haven't seen elsewhere.
Well this entry is already all over the place and probably sounds terrible since I have no desire to proof read, so I guess I’ll wrap it up. I hope everyone has a fantastic weekend!! I get to spend all of mine with my pook and my husband, so I know it will be great :)
Thursday, February 28, 2008
Yesterday, Today, Tomorrow
Yesterday morning I had my post-op follow up. As expected, the surgeon was short and to the point and still lacking any personal charm - but she saved something very important to me so whatever floats her unfriendly boat is fine by me! I'm healing nicely, a biopsy was done on my appendix and came back clean (other than a pretty serious infection), and I'm doing well on the road to recovery. I was told to give it at the very least one more week before I start picking up Caden again and at that point only pick him up if I have to and if it hurts, obviously stop. I can start walking for exercise but ease into it, no abdominal exercises for several weeks and I still need to rest and take it easy.
I've felt like a bit of a sissy because I'm still in pain on and off - I don't remember being in this kind of pain 2 weeks after my c-section. The nurses in the hospital said that while the incisions are smaller, the surgery was still major and more involved than a c-section. Yesterday I was told that my appendix was in pretty bad shape and it is completely normal (and very non-sissy like) to still be in pain.
I found out that my appendix was "hot" - meaning it would have ruptured within 24 hours. I asked why I wasn't in pain as I would have expected with an appendix in that bad of shape. As it turns out, my appendix was located very low in my pelvis giving it some protection. The surgeon said it isn't all that uncommon in women to have their appendix located that low. And then she delivered the blow, the bit of information I've had in the back of my head the last 24 hours.
Had my appendix ruptured... Had I waited another day to be seen by a doctor... Not only could I have died, but most likely I would have lost the ability to ever have another child due to where my appendix was sitting in my body.
24 hours. Max. Thats how close I was to never carrying another child. To never even having the option.
In her pre-surgery rush, the surgeon said something about the amount of inflammation even affecting my fertility. Which is why I was so pissed that the surgeon never elaborated on that post-op until yesterday. For 2 weeks I've been sitting here worried that my fertility was affected - it terrified me, which is why I haven't wrote about it and why I haven't said anything. I had nothing to say until I knew.
The good news is that this should not affect my fertility. My appendix was removed, it didn't rupture, and the inflammation didn't affect my reproductive organs. The surgeon said I should have no problem having another child (granted there is nothing unrelated going on).
I can't help but think about the hours before my surgery - the hour before the CT to be exact. In order to avoid the barium enema, I opted to walk around the hospital with my lovely cocktail. Steve and I spent that hour talking about when to try for our next child, weighing the pros and cons of each month and deciding on a tentative date to start trying to conceive. We walked and talked unaware of the ticking time bomb in my pelvis that almost took away any chance to ever conceive another child.
Before I got pregnant with Caden I worried that I wouldn't be able to have a child, but I think that is a common fear. After I took that pregnancy test a wave of relief passed over me. I always assumed I'd not worry about it again, but after I had Caden that familiar fear of "what if I can't have another" came. While that thought is there, it is just a thought. And until all of this, I never truly realized just how much I, and so many others, take our fertility for granted.
I am just so grateful that in my case, this is all just a scenario. Luckily its only a "what if I didn't see a doctor as I decided not to do so many times before". I debated for hours on going to the doctor this time - but I did go, and I am only left with what if. And I am so thankful for that.
Since my surgery Steve and I have visited the thought of trying for our second briefly, some days I think lets stick with the original plan, in others I think lets wait longer (we're not trying now or in the immediate future). The new round of hospital bills obviously factor into things, but more so its the thought of health. I'm terrified of another complicated pregnancy, of another 4 months of bed rest. I've had a hard enough time being away from Caden during the day for the past 2 weeks. Then there is the issue of just being healthy - for the first time in seven years I don't have to worry about those stomach aches, I don't have to worry about another flare up. And I really just get to be healthy. And I wouldn't mind enjoying that for a while.
But then there is the news yesterday, and learning that our decisions of future children were almost decided for us. And the reminder that nothing is promised, not even tomorrow... no matter how much we plan or discuss, anything can happen.
What I know, and Steve knows, and we've known all along - is that when the time is right we'll know. A decision doesn't have to be made today, we don't have to stick with what we decided yesterday, and tomorrow anything can happen.
In a previous entry I mentioned one of my 2008 resolutions. Another one was to stop planning and start living in today, each day and every day. I know that isn't entirely possible, not to plan at all, but we can all stand to live a little more for today. After all - yesterday is gone, tomorrow isn't promised, and all we really have is now.
I've felt like a bit of a sissy because I'm still in pain on and off - I don't remember being in this kind of pain 2 weeks after my c-section. The nurses in the hospital said that while the incisions are smaller, the surgery was still major and more involved than a c-section. Yesterday I was told that my appendix was in pretty bad shape and it is completely normal (and very non-sissy like) to still be in pain.
I found out that my appendix was "hot" - meaning it would have ruptured within 24 hours. I asked why I wasn't in pain as I would have expected with an appendix in that bad of shape. As it turns out, my appendix was located very low in my pelvis giving it some protection. The surgeon said it isn't all that uncommon in women to have their appendix located that low. And then she delivered the blow, the bit of information I've had in the back of my head the last 24 hours.
Had my appendix ruptured... Had I waited another day to be seen by a doctor... Not only could I have died, but most likely I would have lost the ability to ever have another child due to where my appendix was sitting in my body.
24 hours. Max. Thats how close I was to never carrying another child. To never even having the option.
In her pre-surgery rush, the surgeon said something about the amount of inflammation even affecting my fertility. Which is why I was so pissed that the surgeon never elaborated on that post-op until yesterday. For 2 weeks I've been sitting here worried that my fertility was affected - it terrified me, which is why I haven't wrote about it and why I haven't said anything. I had nothing to say until I knew.
The good news is that this should not affect my fertility. My appendix was removed, it didn't rupture, and the inflammation didn't affect my reproductive organs. The surgeon said I should have no problem having another child (granted there is nothing unrelated going on).
I can't help but think about the hours before my surgery - the hour before the CT to be exact. In order to avoid the barium enema, I opted to walk around the hospital with my lovely cocktail. Steve and I spent that hour talking about when to try for our next child, weighing the pros and cons of each month and deciding on a tentative date to start trying to conceive. We walked and talked unaware of the ticking time bomb in my pelvis that almost took away any chance to ever conceive another child.
Before I got pregnant with Caden I worried that I wouldn't be able to have a child, but I think that is a common fear. After I took that pregnancy test a wave of relief passed over me. I always assumed I'd not worry about it again, but after I had Caden that familiar fear of "what if I can't have another" came. While that thought is there, it is just a thought. And until all of this, I never truly realized just how much I, and so many others, take our fertility for granted.
I am just so grateful that in my case, this is all just a scenario. Luckily its only a "what if I didn't see a doctor as I decided not to do so many times before". I debated for hours on going to the doctor this time - but I did go, and I am only left with what if. And I am so thankful for that.
Since my surgery Steve and I have visited the thought of trying for our second briefly, some days I think lets stick with the original plan, in others I think lets wait longer (we're not trying now or in the immediate future). The new round of hospital bills obviously factor into things, but more so its the thought of health. I'm terrified of another complicated pregnancy, of another 4 months of bed rest. I've had a hard enough time being away from Caden during the day for the past 2 weeks. Then there is the issue of just being healthy - for the first time in seven years I don't have to worry about those stomach aches, I don't have to worry about another flare up. And I really just get to be healthy. And I wouldn't mind enjoying that for a while.
But then there is the news yesterday, and learning that our decisions of future children were almost decided for us. And the reminder that nothing is promised, not even tomorrow... no matter how much we plan or discuss, anything can happen.
What I know, and Steve knows, and we've known all along - is that when the time is right we'll know. A decision doesn't have to be made today, we don't have to stick with what we decided yesterday, and tomorrow anything can happen.
In a previous entry I mentioned one of my 2008 resolutions. Another one was to stop planning and start living in today, each day and every day. I know that isn't entirely possible, not to plan at all, but we can all stand to live a little more for today. After all - yesterday is gone, tomorrow isn't promised, and all we really have is now.
Tuesday, February 26, 2008
Puppy Love
Yesterday our sweet little Beagle was spayed. In hindsight, we probably should have rescheduled her surgery after I had to have mine. I've spayed three cats (not literally of course), but as it turns out a puppy is a completely different ball game.
Ellie is definitely a beagle when it comes to separation anxiety - she has to be with her mommy at all times. She follows me around, cuddles up with me, and whines if I so much as walk out the door to get the mail. I thought this might work to our advantage since we could both slug it on the couch and recover together. I was wrong! Ellie can't jump up or down off the couch so every time I sit down I have to lift her to the couch and every time I get up or she wants a drink of water I have to lift her down. She was licking her stitches and I really don't want to risk her incision getting infected so I put the little doggie lamp shade around her collar. That thing annoys me more than it does her. Ellie insists on snuggling right up to me so I'm constantly being assaulted with that stupid plastic cone – it is currently digging into my neck as Ellie insisted on resting her head on my shoulder.
She doesn't fit too well in her crate with the cone on so we were going to just put the baby gate up and let her stay in the kitchen. We knew this was going to result in a night filled with barking and I felt bad for her so I decided I'd sleep on the couch with her last night. Bad idea. I didn't sleep well at all - the couch was hardly big enough for me, the dog, and the cone. To top it off Ellie wanted to lay her head by mine so I was constantly being slapped in the face with the plastic cone. Tonight we'll try the kitchen and cross her fingers because I'm not doing that again.
Otherwise, Ellie is doing great. She is already feeling much better and wanting to run and play so its been fun trying to keep her resting. She goes back in 10 days to have her stitches out. I can't wait to get rid of that damn cone!
In other happenings I've been learning how to use my cricut more - I love that machine! I've also discovered a love for making my own cards and started working on that. So far I've only really made thank you cards to send to everyone who has helped us out during my hospitalization and recovery, but I am very happy with how they turned out. Of course this has lead to me making several purchases, which is a no-no, but I think I'm set for a while. I just need to get some solid color cardstock. One of my 2008 resolutions was to be better with money and the steady flow of medical bills we are expecting makes that resolution all the more important - and all the more necessary.
I've also been inspired to do a makeover of my craft room/office. Originally this involved repainting but knowing that this room will eventually become a nursery and thus be painted again, I've decided to work with what I have. Seeing that I can't just go and blow several hundred to a thousand dollars + on all the things I want for the room, this make over is going to take some time and creativity. And to be honest, I'm excited to see what I can do without blowing a ton of money.
Ellie is definitely a beagle when it comes to separation anxiety - she has to be with her mommy at all times. She follows me around, cuddles up with me, and whines if I so much as walk out the door to get the mail. I thought this might work to our advantage since we could both slug it on the couch and recover together. I was wrong! Ellie can't jump up or down off the couch so every time I sit down I have to lift her to the couch and every time I get up or she wants a drink of water I have to lift her down. She was licking her stitches and I really don't want to risk her incision getting infected so I put the little doggie lamp shade around her collar. That thing annoys me more than it does her. Ellie insists on snuggling right up to me so I'm constantly being assaulted with that stupid plastic cone – it is currently digging into my neck as Ellie insisted on resting her head on my shoulder.
She doesn't fit too well in her crate with the cone on so we were going to just put the baby gate up and let her stay in the kitchen. We knew this was going to result in a night filled with barking and I felt bad for her so I decided I'd sleep on the couch with her last night. Bad idea. I didn't sleep well at all - the couch was hardly big enough for me, the dog, and the cone. To top it off Ellie wanted to lay her head by mine so I was constantly being slapped in the face with the plastic cone. Tonight we'll try the kitchen and cross her fingers because I'm not doing that again.
Otherwise, Ellie is doing great. She is already feeling much better and wanting to run and play so its been fun trying to keep her resting. She goes back in 10 days to have her stitches out. I can't wait to get rid of that damn cone!
In other happenings I've been learning how to use my cricut more - I love that machine! I've also discovered a love for making my own cards and started working on that. So far I've only really made thank you cards to send to everyone who has helped us out during my hospitalization and recovery, but I am very happy with how they turned out. Of course this has lead to me making several purchases, which is a no-no, but I think I'm set for a while. I just need to get some solid color cardstock. One of my 2008 resolutions was to be better with money and the steady flow of medical bills we are expecting makes that resolution all the more important - and all the more necessary.
I've also been inspired to do a makeover of my craft room/office. Originally this involved repainting but knowing that this room will eventually become a nursery and thus be painted again, I've decided to work with what I have. Seeing that I can't just go and blow several hundred to a thousand dollars + on all the things I want for the room, this make over is going to take some time and creativity. And to be honest, I'm excited to see what I can do without blowing a ton of money.
Saturday, February 23, 2008
Seven years
So I haven't kept up with my blog as I hoped I would, and given the recent events in my life I really have no excuse.
For the past several years I have been plagued with nasty stomach aches. They would come on suddenly, I'd wallow in bed for about 2 days, and then they would go. Nothing I did and nothing I took helped them. After the first attack I saw a doctor who told me in a hurry, as I was crammed in between patients, that I had GERD. I researched it on my own and knew that wasn't what I had, but I had no desire to go back and be told the same thing. So for the past 7 years I've dealt with each attack and moved on. My biggest issue with the nasty tummy aches was that I started to worry people either thought I was full of shit (figuratively and literally) or was just being a big baby. I tried logging my food and keeping a diary to see if I could pinpoint what brought the attacks on, but nothing was ever the same and they seemed to attack at random.
When I got pregnant with Caden, the tummy aches stopped for the most part. After I gave birth, I feared them. For the past year I've been dreading the next attack because I knew a day or two of lying in bed was no longer an option. Every upset stomach, every bout of gas, every twinge sent me into an inner panic that this was it, the attack I'd been dreading since the day Caden was born. I didn't know how I'd manage through that pain and still take care of my son.
Last Monday my fears were realized when that afternoon the familiar pain in the center of my stomach returned. I tried everything to get rid of it but this time the pain was here to stay. I suffered through the day, put Caden to bed, and collapsed into bed. I woke up at 3am unable to sleep and headed to the couch. My tears soon woke Steve and he offered to go to the store to buy me a heating pad (ours had gone missing) in hopes it might help - it didn't but eventually I did manage to fall back asleep.
To my surprise, the pain subsided over the course of the morning on Tuesday. Instead of being all over, the pain localized to the lower right part of my abdomen and eased up. However, something was new this time - now that area of my stomach was rather tender to the touch. I turned to he who is there for all in their time of need - Google. Symptom checker after symptom checker kept bringing up the same "diagnosis": Appendicitis. No, I thought. I wasn't in nearly enough pain and I had been in this pain before. When I finally started to run a low grade fever of 99.9F I decided that I would head in to the doctor and I called Steve to take me at 4:50pm (I didn't feel safe driving with Caden in the car incase the nasty pain came back). I was sure that the doctor would call me a hypochondriac and send me on my way.
By the time we made it to the doctor's office I was feeling fine - unless I stepped heavy or pressed on my tummy. We joked with the doctor and he gave me an exam and interestingly enough, even when he pressed on my left side, it hurt on the right. He told me that the almighty google was correct, the symptoms pointed to appendicitis but there was only 2 ways to really know for sure - a finger inserted up my behind, or a CT involving rectal contrast. He said he was hesitant because most people with appendicitis were in a lot more pain than I was in so he left it up to me... head to the hospital for a barium enema or we'd just do a blood test to check my white blood cell count and go from there. I decided to go with the blood test and give my word that if the pain returned I'd head to the ER. While they symptoms fit, I was simply not presenting as a typical appendicitis case.
Wednesday morning came and I felt great. The pain was still there if I stomped or if I touched my tummy, but the fever was gone and all was well. I was wanting to work out since I wasn't feeling up to it on Monday and Tuesday but I figured I'd wait until the doctor called to tell me my white blood cell count was normal just to be safe. I told Steve not to worry about coming home since I was feeling much better. The doctor called around 11am and I told him I felt great! "Really? Are you sure?". Yes, yes I am! No need to stick anything up my ass today, Doc!
Sadly, that was not the case. My white blood cell count was rather high and I was told to go to the hospital right then and not to eat or drink anything until after the CT. When the receptionist called a few minutes later and was being extremely kind to me, I knew it was a little more serious than I first thought. I called Steve and he headed for home and my Dad came to watch Caden. I showered and we were off.
We get to the hospital and called into the waiting room for the CT. The nurse asks to speak to me in private and in a hushed whisper said "you know this involves a rectal enema".
"but my doctor said we could try to avoid that!!"
The nurse said in most emergency STAT CTs the patient is in too much pain to walk, but seeing as I felt fine they allowed me to drink a lovely cocktail while walking instead. Steve and I circled the hospital for an hour and talked. It was actually pretty nice to get to just hang out together like that. Before long the hour was up and it was time to get a picture of my insides. Steve and I were both sure that I'd be told it was nothing and we'd be home in time for dinner.
Because my CT order was marked as an emergency, we were require to stay and wait for the results. We were told to expect to wait about an hour as it often took time communicating between the hospital radiologist and my Doctor's office. I was pleased when after only 15mintues the phone rang in the waiting room and it was for me.
"You have acute appendicitis and you're being admitted. Someone will be down shortly to bring you to your room."
Um, okay. I made the phone calls to my parents to let them know what was going on, sent off a few text messages, sent Steve for my laptop, and I waited. Finally a nice gentleman shows up with a wheelchair - Lovely. I wasn't even allowed to walk! I assumed I'd be admitted and a doctor would come tell me what was going on, possible surgery in the morning. I get to my room and through a series of questions and a flurry of nurse activity I realize that I'm having surgery now - as in as soon as I get the hospital gown on. I insisted on speaking to a doctor first but I'm not even going to get into all that now.
Before I know it I'm in pre-op getting pumped full of funky drugs that knocked me out before it was even time to move into the operating room.
An hour or two later I wake up in a drug induced haze with a sore throat from hell - I was unaware that they intubate under general anesthesia. My appendix was now gone.
I ended up spending about 2 days in the hospital and was released on Friday. I am so lucky to have such awesome family and friends who helped us out with Caden during all of this and to them I'm so very grateful and thankful. I've been recovering at home and not surprisingly did manage to over do it a bit, so I've been making it a point to rest more, which really helps. The hardest part of all of this is that my little man is a pretty big boy and I am unable to lift him - I did try and I did regret it. But thanks to my awesome family and friends, everyone has been helping us out during the day to make sure he is taken care of and I am able to rest. Hopefully soon everything will be back to normal.
The positive in all of this is that I should never have to fear the tummy ache from hell again. As I suspected, I have not been suffering from GERD the last 7 years, but recurrent appendicitis. As it turns out the body can heal itself from appendicitis at times, but often, as with myself, the appendicitis reoccurs until eventually it gets to the point you head to the doctor and they rip it from your abdomen. My doctor even looked at the notes from my appointment 7 years ago and even he said that I never should have been diagnosed as GERD.
Recovery hasn't been terrible with the exception of not being able to fully interact and care for my son. Of course when not in pain I've over done it but after dealing with an increase in the ouchies, I've learned my lesson. I am just so extremely happy and relieved that after 7 years, I don't have to deal with that bullshit stomach ache attacking at random anymore.
I told you it wasn't GERD, and I wasn't full of shit ;)
For the past several years I have been plagued with nasty stomach aches. They would come on suddenly, I'd wallow in bed for about 2 days, and then they would go. Nothing I did and nothing I took helped them. After the first attack I saw a doctor who told me in a hurry, as I was crammed in between patients, that I had GERD. I researched it on my own and knew that wasn't what I had, but I had no desire to go back and be told the same thing. So for the past 7 years I've dealt with each attack and moved on. My biggest issue with the nasty tummy aches was that I started to worry people either thought I was full of shit (figuratively and literally) or was just being a big baby. I tried logging my food and keeping a diary to see if I could pinpoint what brought the attacks on, but nothing was ever the same and they seemed to attack at random.
When I got pregnant with Caden, the tummy aches stopped for the most part. After I gave birth, I feared them. For the past year I've been dreading the next attack because I knew a day or two of lying in bed was no longer an option. Every upset stomach, every bout of gas, every twinge sent me into an inner panic that this was it, the attack I'd been dreading since the day Caden was born. I didn't know how I'd manage through that pain and still take care of my son.
Last Monday my fears were realized when that afternoon the familiar pain in the center of my stomach returned. I tried everything to get rid of it but this time the pain was here to stay. I suffered through the day, put Caden to bed, and collapsed into bed. I woke up at 3am unable to sleep and headed to the couch. My tears soon woke Steve and he offered to go to the store to buy me a heating pad (ours had gone missing) in hopes it might help - it didn't but eventually I did manage to fall back asleep.
To my surprise, the pain subsided over the course of the morning on Tuesday. Instead of being all over, the pain localized to the lower right part of my abdomen and eased up. However, something was new this time - now that area of my stomach was rather tender to the touch. I turned to he who is there for all in their time of need - Google. Symptom checker after symptom checker kept bringing up the same "diagnosis": Appendicitis. No, I thought. I wasn't in nearly enough pain and I had been in this pain before. When I finally started to run a low grade fever of 99.9F I decided that I would head in to the doctor and I called Steve to take me at 4:50pm (I didn't feel safe driving with Caden in the car incase the nasty pain came back). I was sure that the doctor would call me a hypochondriac and send me on my way.
By the time we made it to the doctor's office I was feeling fine - unless I stepped heavy or pressed on my tummy. We joked with the doctor and he gave me an exam and interestingly enough, even when he pressed on my left side, it hurt on the right. He told me that the almighty google was correct, the symptoms pointed to appendicitis but there was only 2 ways to really know for sure - a finger inserted up my behind, or a CT involving rectal contrast. He said he was hesitant because most people with appendicitis were in a lot more pain than I was in so he left it up to me... head to the hospital for a barium enema or we'd just do a blood test to check my white blood cell count and go from there. I decided to go with the blood test and give my word that if the pain returned I'd head to the ER. While they symptoms fit, I was simply not presenting as a typical appendicitis case.
Wednesday morning came and I felt great. The pain was still there if I stomped or if I touched my tummy, but the fever was gone and all was well. I was wanting to work out since I wasn't feeling up to it on Monday and Tuesday but I figured I'd wait until the doctor called to tell me my white blood cell count was normal just to be safe. I told Steve not to worry about coming home since I was feeling much better. The doctor called around 11am and I told him I felt great! "Really? Are you sure?". Yes, yes I am! No need to stick anything up my ass today, Doc!
Sadly, that was not the case. My white blood cell count was rather high and I was told to go to the hospital right then and not to eat or drink anything until after the CT. When the receptionist called a few minutes later and was being extremely kind to me, I knew it was a little more serious than I first thought. I called Steve and he headed for home and my Dad came to watch Caden. I showered and we were off.
We get to the hospital and called into the waiting room for the CT. The nurse asks to speak to me in private and in a hushed whisper said "you know this involves a rectal enema".
"but my doctor said we could try to avoid that!!"
The nurse said in most emergency STAT CTs the patient is in too much pain to walk, but seeing as I felt fine they allowed me to drink a lovely cocktail while walking instead. Steve and I circled the hospital for an hour and talked. It was actually pretty nice to get to just hang out together like that. Before long the hour was up and it was time to get a picture of my insides. Steve and I were both sure that I'd be told it was nothing and we'd be home in time for dinner.
Because my CT order was marked as an emergency, we were require to stay and wait for the results. We were told to expect to wait about an hour as it often took time communicating between the hospital radiologist and my Doctor's office. I was pleased when after only 15mintues the phone rang in the waiting room and it was for me.
"You have acute appendicitis and you're being admitted. Someone will be down shortly to bring you to your room."
Um, okay. I made the phone calls to my parents to let them know what was going on, sent off a few text messages, sent Steve for my laptop, and I waited. Finally a nice gentleman shows up with a wheelchair - Lovely. I wasn't even allowed to walk! I assumed I'd be admitted and a doctor would come tell me what was going on, possible surgery in the morning. I get to my room and through a series of questions and a flurry of nurse activity I realize that I'm having surgery now - as in as soon as I get the hospital gown on. I insisted on speaking to a doctor first but I'm not even going to get into all that now.
Before I know it I'm in pre-op getting pumped full of funky drugs that knocked me out before it was even time to move into the operating room.
An hour or two later I wake up in a drug induced haze with a sore throat from hell - I was unaware that they intubate under general anesthesia. My appendix was now gone.
I ended up spending about 2 days in the hospital and was released on Friday. I am so lucky to have such awesome family and friends who helped us out with Caden during all of this and to them I'm so very grateful and thankful. I've been recovering at home and not surprisingly did manage to over do it a bit, so I've been making it a point to rest more, which really helps. The hardest part of all of this is that my little man is a pretty big boy and I am unable to lift him - I did try and I did regret it. But thanks to my awesome family and friends, everyone has been helping us out during the day to make sure he is taken care of and I am able to rest. Hopefully soon everything will be back to normal.
The positive in all of this is that I should never have to fear the tummy ache from hell again. As I suspected, I have not been suffering from GERD the last 7 years, but recurrent appendicitis. As it turns out the body can heal itself from appendicitis at times, but often, as with myself, the appendicitis reoccurs until eventually it gets to the point you head to the doctor and they rip it from your abdomen. My doctor even looked at the notes from my appointment 7 years ago and even he said that I never should have been diagnosed as GERD.
Recovery hasn't been terrible with the exception of not being able to fully interact and care for my son. Of course when not in pain I've over done it but after dealing with an increase in the ouchies, I've learned my lesson. I am just so extremely happy and relieved that after 7 years, I don't have to deal with that bullshit stomach ache attacking at random anymore.
I told you it wasn't GERD, and I wasn't full of shit ;)
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)